My sign penis is bigger than your sign penis

Signs involving the recall of Scott Walker are nothing new out here in Cheeseland. Some conservatives would argue these signs were being printed as election results rolled in that night in November 2010. However, with the recall finally in full swing, I’ve noticed an interesting phenomenon regarding the signs and their placement.

The “Recall Walker” signs have been in full bloom for months and range in color from green and white to blue and red. The bumper stickers are everywhere and are orange, white, blue and more. However, these are all about the size you’d expect: 11 x 17-ish yard signs and regular sized bumper stickers.

Pro-Walker supporters appeared to have fewer signs and fewer stickers, but for the most part, they were retreads of the signs he issued when he was running. The standard “Walker: Governor” signs dotted a few lawns out here, but they seemed to be outnumbered by the “Get rid of this asshole” plaintives.

About three weeks ago, I saw my first “mega-sign.” A farm on a main county road out here had this billboard-sized monstrosity strapped to a couple metal poles in his front yard. Later that week, a guy in town had another one that almost dwarfed his home, proclaiming “I STAND WITH SCOTT WALKER.”

These John Holmes-ian pieces of cardboard have started showing up with much more frequency in the past week. The number of pro-recall signs is still much, much higher, but the pro-Walker crowd appears to be playing the “bigger is better” angle.

Each side has the right to make its own show of strength. I’ve taken to watching Netflix and 30 for 30 reruns to avoid the Walker TV ads. Radio out here is particularly dicey, as his annoying voice just pops up on the air before you can switch it off. The only good thing about this election hell is that you get to watch random PACs go after Rick Santorum with the voracity of a starved pit bull. In any case, you want big signs, fine. You want tons of TV ads, go for it. The networks are happy to take your money.

However, when you go to the polls, your giant sign penis doesn’t give you any special privileges.

It will be one person, one vote.

6 thoughts on “My sign penis is bigger than your sign penis

  1. Adrastos says:

    I dunno Doc, you seem to be emerging as our porn blogger. I woulda thunk that it woulda been Jude who’d be waving that particular stick around…

  2. Athenae says:

    During the 2004 election the particular crop of crackheads living next door had a GIANT Bush-Cheney sign. Which, WTF generally, who do you think you’re going to convince here in the People’s Republic, but also, fucking thing was a major eyesore.
    I’m sure there are people who drive down the road and go, “I’mma vote for the guy has the biggest sign heh heh heh,” but they cannot (please baby flying spaghetti monster) be the majority.
    A.

  3. Delta says:

    This makes as much sense as their belief that volume = right. If they can just out-yell us, they can win.

  4. MapleStreet says:

    I always have a laugh at the candidate supporters who, on election day, stand on the corner with their candidate sign and shout and bounce up and down. While I never find that they change my opinion although I know that many people tend to vote for the last image that has been placed in their mind. I just can’t understand it: I’m gonna vote for X because their supporters had a crowd on the corner with really nice bouncy hair.

  5. pansypoo says:

    i was polled by the REPUBLICANS on the recall yesterday. i gleefully ansered democratically. at the end he said it was by the republicans. i said ‘of course it was’. OR -DUH.

  6. The Lodger says:

    In rural Oregon, they’ve mastered the art of the Huge Phallic Yard (or Farm) Sign. The signs are about 98 percent for Republican candidates or the conservative position on ballot measures, seeing as how these are big rural landowners and all. Fortunately, most of the people who get out there to see the signs have figured that out.

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