Oh For Fuck’s Sake, Own It Already

This will so totally work, you guys:

Claire McCaskill will not be attending the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, a McCaskill aide confirmed to TPM Tuesday. McCaskill joins a list of vulnerable Democratic politicians whose home districts are hostile ground for President Obama and who will be steering clear of the convention.

This always works. It’s always totally effective for a Democrat to run against other Democrats. I mean, we know it completely impresses the Sunday shows, and that’s who’s really voting anyway! It makes you look all mavericky and complecticated, and it absolutely insulates you from criticism that you’re a babykilling gay-married who wept over Osama’s bullet-ridden corpse while listening to a dramatic reading of Rules for Radicals by Bill Ayers and Al Sharpton. In Chicago. Where you took the bus.

It is just so fucking predictable and sad at this point, watching Democrats fall for this shit. I don’t know who’s advising them. I don’t know who’s sitting them down and saying, for too long in American history we have relished electing bold and courageous leaders who display the values of loyalty and integrity even during difficult times. For too long, Americans have chosen men and women with gusto and gallantry, whose acts of bravery have inspired little schoolchildren and lit the fires of hope in every heart across this dark, dark planet we call home.

Now, as a country, we finally are ready to vote for a bunch of pussies who are askeered of standing at the side of the nation’s first black president whose re-election is only vaguely endangered because his opponent’s asshole supporters have more money than God and blowing it on dressage horses got old. Right now, America is looking for a candidate who knows who her friends are, and wants to be as far away from them as possible. Lest someone on Fox call her a rude name.

WHICH THEY ARE SO TOTALLY DOING ANYWAY. So it’s not even effective politics. It’s not evenworking.

Look, I’m not saying you should never disagree with your friends. I fight with my friends all the time about stuff and I love them like I love my left breast. What I am saying is that in moments of extremity, say, during an election year when your enemies want to kill and then eat you, you might consider that if you throw your friends overboard you’ll be left with your enemies, alone.


7 thoughts on “Oh For Fuck’s Sake, Own It Already

  1. McCaskill, Manchin, Tester, and others simply need to leave the Party. Given that we’re rapidly moving towards one-party rule anyway it would be better to start purging the Democrats of their like and try to regroup.

  2. love the defense that this isn’t the first time.’She’s always done this chickenshit thing!’

  3. “Given the choice between a Republican and someone who acts like a Republican, people will vote for the real Republican all the time.” -Harry S Truman
    Was McCaskill is the one who invented sitting with a Republican at the State of the Union? That really turned on the jobs machine.
    “Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a Republican. But I repeat myself.” – Harry S. Truman

  4. I’m sorry but this is nonsense. I’m going to go out on a limb here and risk the ire of the good First Draft readers and say: this is all bullshit. It’s fucking media-generated bullshit. It’s the equivalent of link-bait and trolling for hits. Did this story start in Politico? Feels like it.
    It’s a lame attempt by the media to gin up a controversy where none exists. Every single Democratic politician in the universe does not attend the Dem convention. I think it’s kind of silly for anyone in the media to insinuate that people like Claire McCaskill won’t go because they’re afraid of looking too much like Democrats or something. Um, hello, there’s still a D next to her fucking name. No one is going to forget that.
    I think it’s just fucking retarded. She’s in the middle of a campaign. Maybe she’d rather be campaigning. This idea that there’s something controversial about not attending the convention is just fucking stupid.
    So, that’s my .10.

  5. Well , I guess these are the “chickenhawks” of the Democratic Party. Or should we call them Blue Dog’s Asses?

  6. There are four voting regions in Missouri: 1) St. Louis; 2) Kansas City; 3) Columbia; 4) Fucktarded. Unfortunately, I live in the most fucktarded part of Missouri of all, the southeast, where most people wouldn’t vote for a Democratic candidate even if she looked like Marilyn Monroe and was offering free blowjobs for every vote. These fucking idiots listen to AM-hate radio all day long, and the only thing that’s ever on the TV is Faux Noise. It’s a racist, sexist, stupid utopia for about 80 percent of the people who live here; the rest of us have to put up with teh stoopid.

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