What It’s Time To Talk About

In answer to Charlie’s question here.

No, it is not time to talk about gun control. It is time to talk about Chick-fil-A, and whether the president is secretly a communist, socialist, or Kenyan Muslim Marxist.

It is time to talk about how Christians are persecuted for not being able to slap the Ten Commandments on every inch of every courthouse.

It is time to talk about how anybody in the military who voices an opinion about the war is a terrorist-loving traitor.

It is time to talk about how anyone who wants reasonably inexpensive medical care is a freedom-hating government leech.

It is time to talk about who really “built that.”

It is time to talk about what’s trending online.

It is time to talk about which movies are inherently conservative and should be supported, and which Disney characters are indoctrinating your children into liberalism.

It is time to talk about how video games are making kids crazy.

It is time to talk about your parenting, and how you’re doing it wrong.

It is time to talk about Drew Peterson, and then, in six months or so, it will be time to talk about how we talked too much about Drew Peterson. Six months after that, it will be time to talk about the next Drew Peterson, or Casey Anthony, or whoever that last one was.

It is time to talk about your fucking taxes, and how you are unhappy with them, and how your unhappiness rates Congressional action.

It is time to talk about how everybody else has it just a little bit too good.

It is time to talk about some poor kid who has an iPad.

It is time to talk about what some d-list celebrity “tweeted.”

It is time to talk about who should be allowed to go out in public with his pants like that.

It is time to talk about pregnancy pacts, and rainbow parties, and how kids don’t think oral sex is really sex, and how Clinton is probably to blame.

It is not time to talk about gun control, because talking about gun control requires talking about laws and policies and various precedents, about how we live and what we live for.

It is not time to talk about how we can be a less fearful society, a less aggressive society, a less fucking STUPID society, because that seems to require a reach and an ambition so critically lacking in those who task themselves with leading those conversations that we might as well pray for the EASTER BUNNY to save us. It makes about as much sense.

It’s not time to talk about gun control. It’s time to talk about what fried chicken you should eat to honor America’s freedom. It is time to talk about that.

A.

3 thoughts on “What It’s Time To Talk About

  1. pansypoo says:

    diversion. it’s calviball 24/7. bread & circuses.

  2. paulo says:

    man have you ever got it wrong. The president told us. we gotta get law enforcement, community leaders, faith leaders, elected officials at every level so we can make continued progress.
    I can’t imagine what that progress might be— let me think, let me think.
    ah yes. my priest will end mass slaughter every fortnight in america.

  3. Diana says:

    you forgot to include:
    It is time to talk about how the fact that a healthcare plan somewhere provides contraception to sluts infringes on your religious freedom.
    otherwise brilliant

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