I usually write a fairly long post about one malaka. I’m going to try something different and do some quick hitting, un-hyperlinked comments about the 5 biggest jerks of the cycle in ascending order.
5. The Rape Caucus: It may be time for the wingers to either come up with a different policy or at least gussy their horrible policies up in a better ball gown. The satin prom dress that they’re using now ain’t working.
For some reason, people do not like idle chit chat about forcing women to carry their rapist’s child to term. Imagine that. Rape is rape is rape unless, that is, you’re The Other Joe Walsh, Richard Mourdock or Todd Akin, the poster boys for malakatude.
4. Sheldon Adelson: Shelly baby spent the year throwing good money after bad. He poured big bucks into Newt’s campaign and dropped a bundle with Turdblossom’s group with very little to show for it. It’s fun to see a casino owner fleeced, they usually do the fleecing…
3. Rafalca As A Romney Stand-In: Ann’s fancy horse didn’t win a medal but was a source of constant amusement for folks like me. I will, actually, miss mocking Willard and his whole clan but comedy’s loss is America’s gain. I’m not ranking the Romneys higher because I never thought we’d elect our first robot President and we didn’t.
2. Karl Rove: Turdblossom made a complete fool out of himself on election night. He was like a particularly demented general fighting old battles. He expected this election to turn into 2000 or 2004, and when it didn’t he started flailing, lying and denying. I’d like to be in the room with him and the suckers he gulled into donating to his stupor-PAC. Couldn’t have happened to a creepier guy. The rat fucker got rat fucked himself.
1. Fox News: If they actually gave a shit about the “conservative bowel movement,” they’d dial it back but all Roger and Rupert really care about is making mounds of malakatudinous money. The bubble they’ve created for their viewers, and the pols they support, exploded and made a gynormous mess.
The reason Mittbot was supposedly shell-shocked by losing is that he and his minions *believed* what they were hearing on Fox. They probably even thought that Dick (Always wrong, never modest) Morris knew what he was talking about. He did not. The GOP will continue to lose Presidential elections until they get out of the echo chamber and join the reality based community.
Finally, yeah, I know, Rush was a big loser, and an even bigger malaka, but I have a policy of almost never writing about him. The Sandra Fluke clusterfuck *was* one of the key moments of the race and we owe it all to malakatude hall of famer, Rushbo. Thanks, fuckhead,