Weekend Question Thread

So I spent a bit of time on Twitter on Thursday talking about the cell phone conversation I COULD NOT HELP overhearing while waiting for my car to get done in the shop. It included such gems as:

Now she’s listing all the attributes she would miss about crazy husband, including his “well, you know, it’s pretty big.”

Also, her dog is shedding a lot and won’t pee outside if it senses she’s in a hurry to get somewhere.

The other woman in the lobby, A NUN IN FULL HABIT, just looked at me and rolled her eyes.

I give up. She broke me. I would rather inhale gas fumes in the repair bay than hear about her mother’s incontinence.

What’s the wildest thing you’ve ever overheard in a public place?


12 thoughts on “Weekend Question Thread

  1. I was on a train in DC and this guy was having a pretty loud phone conversation in which he was basically apologizing for the drunk inappropriate phone conversation of the night before.
    “So, uh, I was pretty wasted last night, so about all that stuff I said . . . ”
    Fortunately I had some headphones and so could avoid the rest of it.

  2. I’m the guy who always hear stuff like that any time I’m on public transit in particular. The last one was a guy who committed his lover to rehab after having had him arrested for battery. The bf was calling his ex’s sister to tell her. On the Magazine Street bus.

  3. On the Long Island Railroad in 2004 I heard some middle aged guy with a heavy New York accent gush to his friends about meeting Maureen Dowd at (if I remember right) a book signing. I can still hear him saying, “boy I’d like to fuck her.”

  4. no details cause i haven’t had any juicy cell calls, but an ANNOYING 53%er on a dallas flight nattering ON + ON about golf shit while taxiing to the gate.

  5. The guy behind me on Amtrak who told the porter he was going to NYC to be on the Today Show to announce he was running for president, among other delusional pronouncements. The police met the train in Slidell where he was escorted off the train. I heaved a big sigh of relief.

  6. Oh GOD, trains and flights. I will take a screaming baby on both any day over an annoying adult blithering on about banality. The kid has an excuse at least.

  7. >But what is it with the folks that think they have to yell into their cell phone?
    Because they can’t hear their own voices. Land-line handsets feed your voice back into your ear when you speak into the receiver, but cellphones don’t do that. People seem to need to hear their own voices when they’re speaking.
    Case in point: in the past when we were somewhere there’s a lot of ambient noise, such as a music concert, The Wife would put her lips to my ear (nice) and SHOUT whatever she wanted to say (not so nice). When I asked her not to do that and just speak normally, she said “But I can’t hear what I’m saying!”

  8. Point well taken Millsapian87.
    As a radio operator one of the first things I had to learn was despite any surrounding noise, to speak at a regular tone of voice.
    If you yell into the radio it actually makes it harder to understand. If you’re too loud, you exceed the ability of the circuitry to process your signal. So you end up with a signal that clips off the highs. Then on the receiving end, the speaker component can’t deviate / react to the signal rapidly enough to have any sound fidelity.
    End result is a monotonous wah-wah-wah-wah that has lost most of its definition, called overdriving. If you’ve ever put too much power to a cheap hi-fi system and ended up with a very poor sound quality, you’ve proabably overdriven the stereo system and speakers.

  9. Blandest conversation I’ve ever heard, and actually heard it on several occasions. Of course, just one end of the conversation:
    …Hi…Taco Bell…Eating…A Taco…A Soda…
    To make it worse, while this sounds like a closed mouth teenager, this was a person obviously 40 or over.
    I know that there are studies showing that one becomes attuned to a conversation when they can only hear one end of it.
    But what is it with the folks that think they have to yell into their cell phone? (Likewise, have their ring tone set to the loudest possible setting). Reminds me of the Beverly Hillbillies where Granny thought you had to yell into the phone because it was a far distance to the caller who was back home.

  10. I was on a subway a few years ago and this guy was talking to someone and asked “what does it mean when the skin on my d**k starts falling off?” Eww! I moved to the other side of the car. I hope his friend told him it means he should go to a doctor.
    Another time I overheard someone talking about the wonders of working from home, now that he didn’t have to commute to the office every day, and he added “I just have to remember to not start drinking before noon”.

  11. My friend Matt told me that he overhead this snippet while at a family gathering:
    “Well, we *thought* the twins were dead when we put them in the fire…” and it was his Italian aunt speaking. I’m assuming something must have been lost in the translation.

  12. One time when I was in 10th grade (I think), it was the end of the day, and I was in the hall of my high school, walking towards the bus lanes, when I heard, quite distinctly, amongst all the other babbling high schoolers, this:
    “I could use a Coke and a blowjob.”
    I swear to God, that’s what I heard.

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