Megyn Kelly Is Dreaming Of A White Christmas

Fox host Megyn Kelly doesn’t know a lot but what she knows she knows. You know what I’m saying?

“For all you kids watching at home, Santa justis white.”

Ms. Kelly was replying to a piece by Aisha Harris at Slate and just couldn’t resist stating what to her was obvious.Along with Ms. Harris, I beg to differ:

Santa is loosely based onSaint Nicholas, a fourth-century Greek bishop known for secret gift-giving. But while the names “St. Nicholas” and “Santa Claus” are often used interchangeably, modern-day Santa hardly resembles his supposed inspiration, who was depicted as tall and thin and, you know, Greek.

As a Greek-American, I can testify that Greeks tend to be swarthy. The original Saint Nick was probably a brunette with cafe au lait skin and a very hairy back. My mother’s Nordic genes are the only reason I escaped the hairy back thing but I do tan nicely. Trust me, I have many relatives who could pass for black if they wanted to. Of course, then they’d have to present their birth certificates to placate the birthers…

It got worse for Megyn with a Y. (Btw, does anyone know anyone who spells that name with a Y? I know only Megan’s or Meghan’s. Nary a Y or even YMCA in sight.) She elaborated on her, uh, historical knowledge:

Kelly, a Fox franchise player, dug herself in further by saying that Santa couldn’t be anything but Caucasian because he’s like Jesus. “Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change,” Kelly said. “You know, I mean, Jesus was a white man, too.”

We’ve established that Saint Nick was a swarthy Greek and many experts think that Jesus was a swarthy Jew:


All this latest flap really illustrates is the abject stupidity of racial classifications. Only elderly white Republicans care if Jesus looked like a blond surfer dude from Orange County. Cowabunga. Of course, those are the people who watch Fox News. It’s kind of a pity that Megyn Kelly is the one spouting this nonsense. I’ve had a soft spot for her ever since her epic smackdown of Karl Rove on election night. I guess it’s time for her to enlist in Bill-O’s war against the war on Christmas. That would be mighty white of her…

I’ll let a certain Irish Catholic crooner have the last word with his legendary rendition of a Christmas classic that was written by a non-swarthy and possibly Republican Jew. Is that diverse enough for y’all?

6 thoughts on “Megyn Kelly Is Dreaming Of A White Christmas

  1. Saw/read about the clip, and immediately thought of the picture you posted…which when first publicized also drew quite the hissy fit from the usual crowd, the ones who insist the Warner Sallman Euro Jesus is the only “true” rendition (though I expect they’d also object to my calling it “Euro,” because, you know, socialism).
    I was a bit surprised by Kelly’s tone. It’s one thing to say something stupid, but quite another for someone with legal training to be so unequivocal about something that anyone with a brain knows isn’t exactly cut and dried.
    But I guess that’s what tenure at Faux News does for you.

  2. The Freepers and Teabaggers who finally achieve an audience with the Almighty will be mightily disappointed to find out that Yeshua bin-Yosef was a Semetic Jew who spoke no English. If Sartre was right and Hell truly is other people, I think we’re already there.

  3. I presumed that Kelly was talking to any kids watching who might still believe in Santa Claus, which raises the question: What parent whose kid still believes in Santa Claus would be irresponsible enough to let him/her watch Megyn Kelly?
    But I think Esquire’s Charlie Pierce put it best: Of course Santa Claus is white. He goes to Florida and George Zimmerman hasn’t busted a cap in his ass, right?

  4. To add to the richness, look at her non-apology apology / non-admission admission of guilt. My favorite line is that the subject on whether Jesus was white or not is still a matter of debate (or undecided, or something along that line).
    Uh, who is still debating the topic other than the KKK?

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