Malaka Of The Week: Cliven Bundy


In spite of its comic possibilities, I’ve ignored the Bundy Ranch freak show until today. Why? Because of the armed doofi and militiamen hanging out with the deadbeat patriot, that’s why. Now that the threat of Hannity inspired violence has somewhat receded, it’s time to make Cliven Bundy malaka of the week. Come on down, cowpoke.

The other reason to give the malakatude crown of throrns to the pudgy scofflaw is the quote heard round the world, or the internet at least:

“I want to tell you one more thing I know about the Negro,” he said. Mr. Bundy recalled driving past a public-housing project in North Las Vegas, “and in front of that government house the door was usually open and the older people and the kids — and there is always at least a half a dozen people sitting on the porch — they didn’t have nothing to do. They didn’t have nothing for their kids to do. They didn’t have nothing for their young girls to do.

“And because they were basically on government subsidy, so now what do they do?” he asked. “They abort their young children, they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton. And I’ve often wondered, are they better off as slaves, picking cotton and having a family life and doing things, or are they better off under government subsidy? They didn’t get no more freedom. They got less freedom.”

This quote via the NYT’s Adam Nagourney conclusively establishes that, like his new best friend Sean Hannity, Cliven Bundy is a meathead: dead from the neck up. I briefly contemplated skipping past the irony of the welfare rancher dissing anyone else for being on “guvmint subsidy” but it is irresistible. Bundy, like most teabaggers, lives in what Ray Davies has called a “fantasy world of celluloid villains and heroes.” He thinks life is a bad John Wayne Western (not one of the films he made with Ford or Hawks, it’s more like McClintockwherein the Duke spanked Maureen O’Hara) and that he’s the hero slaying the eebil BLM. I call bullshit on that shit: in addition to being a racist malaka, Bundy is all hat and no cattle. The Feds are now focused on judicial means to lasso the renegade rancher who probably thinks this book is about him:


4 thoughts on “Malaka Of The Week: Cliven Bundy

  1. You know that scene in “Knowing” where the plane crashes?
    Free Republic was exactly like that this morning, except with more burning corpses.
    Monday’s post is in the can.

  2. I’m surprised he didn’t try the “but I have negro friends” defense…but TPM reports he had some relatively nice things to say about “The Spanish people,” so maybe he thinks that covers it.

  3. I especially love the “they put their young men in jail, because they never learned how to pick cotton…”
    Could you find me a good paying job picking cotton?

  4. CNN today has a follow-up interview with him. Make sure to watch the video and not the transcripts as in earlier videos, Bundy’s language seemed to flow easily. In this interview, he described himself to uh, Martin, uh, uh, uh, Luther, uh, King and Rosa, uh, uh, uh, Parks. (As well as that if he can’t refer to people as Negro, black boy, or slave then we haven’t gotten the freedom that MLK wanted.)

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