Smells Like School Spirit

My friend Cait graduated from Florida State and remains a fanatical, crazed, die-hard Seminole fan. She even does the tomahawk chop and I’m glad she does because I mock her relentlessly about it. Anyone surprised? I thought not. People line up to be mocked by me, I’m the poor man’s Rickles or a less rotund Fat Jack E. Leonard. That’s why they call me Shecky.

Now where the hell was I? Oh yeah, Cait posted a link to a company that’s offering University related scent, cologne,  fragrance, or whatever the hell you want to call it. She, of course, posted about the Florida State one, but I’m an LSU grad so here’s the Tigerlicious icon:

Masik University Of LSU

They even have LSU fragrance for butch or femme, I mean him or her. Me, I think it should smell like crawfish boil, but I’m not sure if anyone would wear that except for the dudes in Swamp People. They’re not fully civilized from what I hear, but I’ve only watched it once. And I only did that to give me license to mock them. The Duck Dynasty malakas are from North Louisiana, which is more like Texas East or Mississippi West so I’ll give them a pass on this one. I’ll pull their beards on another occasion…

Back to sniffing up this company’s tree. Masik Collegiate Fragrances product is mostly focused on Southern schools, except for Penn State and Syracuse. It’s time to convert this rambling post into our very own listicle of these fragrant universities: Alabama, Arkansas,  Auburn, Clemson,  Florida,  Florida State, Georgia, Kentucky, Louisiana State, Mississippi, North Carolina, North Carolina State, Oklahoma, Penn State, South Carolina, Syracuse , Tennessee, Texas A&M, Texas, and Virginia Tech.

I must confess to not having perused the individual pages in any detail, but I have a few “helpful” suggestions. Alabama could have eau de Bourbon Street teabagger.  NC State could smell like a tobacco product of some sort: eau de Tobacco Road. The Aggies could have a cadet on sheep scent. Texas could smell of leather, oil, BBQ smoke, and bullshit.  Arkansas could have eau de sooey sooey pig. Finally, Kentucky could have a bourbon based scent with a hint of racehorse sweat.  The possibilities are endless, y’all. If you have an idea of your own for these or other fine football/basketball  factories universities, please leave a comment.

It’s a great country, isn’t it? One where you, too, can smell like school spirit:

One more thing. Cait and her husband Dave called me out for the ice bucket challenge before it became a phenomenon. I politely but firmly declined since I believe in being dry and comfortable. (I guess I should add Jack Benny-style cowardice to my shtick. But I do not have my own Rochester. Della don’t play that.) It has turned into one of the most successful fund raising gimmicks ever. Here’s Cait and Dave’s video:

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