Journalistic Passive Voice Part the 1,000th

Politico pretends to be stupider than they are, which is funny considering, you know, where the starting line is: 

The president’s aim was clearly to defuse building expectations that U.S. military strikes in Syria were imminent as part of a broadening drive to defeat the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant. But his awkward choice of words to describe a policymaking process still in midstream seems likely to haunt him for some time.

“We absolutely know what is going on here, but we’re going to pretend we don’t, so that we can gossip like jealous little assholes, because that’s easier than working.”

The inartful phrase quickly went viral among right-leaning media outlets and Republican figures, pushing the White House into damage control mode.

DAMAGE CONTROL MODE ENGAGED. Virality! White House aides versus Republican “figures,” whatever the fuck those are.

White House aides immediately went online and on TV to argue that he was simply pointing out that he had yet to settle on new military options for a broader assault on ISIL that has already led to more than 100 airstrikes on the group’s positions in Iraq.

Has someone done “Politico bullshit jargon bingo” yet? If not, can y’all get on that please?


3 thoughts on “Journalistic Passive Voice Part the 1,000th

  1. I’m too busy drinking Charlie Pierce’s double Prestones over Politico to make a board game about it.

  2. It’s not for nothing Charlie calls Politico ‘Tiger Beat on the Potomac’, you know. Barkeep! Another double Prestone, please!

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