Assholes Are All There Is

Jude knows this sort of thing makes me crazy:

5. Set plans are dead. People have options and up-to-the-minute updates on their friends (or other potential romantic interests) whereabouts thanks to texts & social media. If you aren’t the top priority, your invitation to spend time will be given a “Maybe” or “I’ll let you know” and the deciding factor(s) will be if that person has offers more fun/interesting than you on the table.

God. Not everyone is from Rich Kids of Instagram, and just because there are high-profile examples of people being trivial assholes does not mean that every young single person is a dick. A person who can’t keep a date or tell you honestly when he or she is busy is a jerk, and Twitter has nothing to do with it.

7. The only difference between your actions being romantic and creepy is how attractive the other person finds you. That’s it, that’s all.

No, that’s not all. I find Harrison Ford ridiculously attractive but if he hid my car keys so I could no longer go anywhere without his permission that would be creepy and his being Indiana Jones wouldn’t help that. Plenty of relationships that start out being hot end up in murder.

9. Some people just want to hookup and if you’re seeking more than sex, they won’t tell you that they’re the wrong person for you. At least, not until afterthey score your prize. While human decency is ideal, honesty isn’t mandatory.

“Score your prize?” Eww.

13. Social media can also create the illusion of having options, which leads to people looking at Facebook as an attractive people menu instead of a means of keeping contact with friends & family.

This is IDIOTIC. Social media isn’t used to troll for extramarital poon unless that’s, you know, what you’re using it for. If you’re that far gone in your relationship that seeing a photo of an ex-girlfriend leads you to start thinking about cheating, let me politely suggest that you re-evaluate YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.

16. When dating, instead of expressing how they feel directly to you, a person is more likely to post a Facebook status or Instagram a Tumblr-esque photo of a sunset with a quote or song lyric of someone else’s words on it, and while it may not mention your name, it’s blatantly directed at you.

Are we talking about 12-year-olds here? Because unless we’re actually talking about teenagers, if someone does this, RUN.

The entire piece (and is it me or is Thought Catalog just a total shitshow?) seems designed to give the impression that all single people suck now and the Internet is somehow to blame.

A.

2 thoughts on “Assholes Are All There Is

  1. idiosynchronic says:

    It’s the Conservative holy grail – ‘All people are assholes until proven otherwise, and if you don’t act like an asshole, you’re going to get taken advantage of.’
    Here’s a profile of the site writers. Both strongly remind me of that pretentious twerp riding the Dulles I saw reading a copy of Monocle magazine.

  2. mothra says:

    Enh…I read the thing and a lot of his ugly truths were ugly truths back in the Iron Age. Yes, breaking up sucks. Yes, there are jerks out there who will lie to you. Basically, yes, there are jerks. They will always be with us. Social media just gives jerks another way to be jerks, but they’d be jerks without it.

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