I have a confession to make. I’m having a hard time taking the whole Reg Dwight versus Dolce and Gabbana story very seriously. Admittedly, what they said was *horrendous* but the whole idea of boycotting a luxury designer brand is ludicrous. I seem to have been boycotting it prior to their channeling Silvio Berlusconi and being homophobic homosexuals. My boycott is strictly price driven but it enables me to be in solidarity with Elton John. Woot.

The Guardian’s Hadley Freeman finds this dispute between the super rich to be as funny as I do. I couldn’t pick between the last 2 graphs so here are both of them:

Anyway, Dolce and Gabbana’s views on parenting would have remained unknown to the greater public had not good ol’ Elton John barrelled on in and denounced the duo on Instagram. And at this point, things promptly went kray-kray. Elton has every right to be a bit cross about the duo’s views, not least because he has two children with his husband, David Furnish, and his response was relatively measured (for Elton). Gabbana, however, is having none of it – and after denouncing Elton as “a fascist” (you’d think an Italian would be clearer on the correct definition), he has spent the past 36 hours making angry collages on Instagram, which is molto tragico. After Elton called for a boycott of Dolce & Gabbana, Stefano is now calling for a boycott of Elton for, um, something, and he has, hilariously, adopted the Charlie Hebdo hashtag for himself: “Je suis D&G”. He has also since issued the typical non-apology apology press release, saying: “We talked about our way of seeing reality, but it was never our intention to judge other people’s choices.” Translation: “We see children of gay couples as abominations, no judgement! Buy our stuff!”

But I think we are forgetting the real victim of this battle: Madonna. Now, Madonna is no friend of Elton (he once called her “a fucking fairground stripper”), but she is a friend of the gay folk. She is also, however, a friend of Dolce & Gabbana. And now she is facing the Sophie’s Choice scenario of having to choose between her gay fans and fashion. Truly, I think we have just witnessed the 21st century’s version of the assassination of Franz Ferdinand – and all alliances are in doubt here. As Dolce & Gabbana would say: “mamma mia!”

The whole piece is hilarious as is much of Mr. Freeman’s output. Every time I see the name Gabbana, I crave a banana but I shan’t be boycotting them or Elton John for that matter: