It’s not that I’m not excited about President Hillary. Don’t get me wrong, I’m ready for a HBIC telling the king of Saudi Arabia where exactly to have her flowers delivered. And Bill Clinton was born to be First Gentleman the way Joe Biden was born to be Veep. The idea of Bill planning the White House china patterns and the Easter Egg roll and all that shit makes me LOL forever, because in his spare time he’ll be sitting on the South Lawn eating a chicken leg, feet in a kiddie pool full of bourbon.

I just find it hard to get amped about anybody this far out. I was a Deaniac this time of 2003 or thereabouts, and Former President Howard Dean says his presidential library will be located up your ass, thank you very much. Months of political commentary on presidential nominating contests makes sense for people getting paid directly for it by the word or the wank, but for me, I’m less interested in the national damage to be done in a year than in the local damage being done now.

A.