Barristan the Bold pic.twitter.com/VDMx8MpYpc
— Game of Memes (@GameOfMemess) May 17, 2015
Every deity, man. Every deity is complete asshole.
Every god asks of you, something you should never have to give.
Stannis asked Davos for his son. R’hllor asked Stannis for his daughter, asked Melisandre for her certainty. The Seven asked Cersei for her pride. The Many-Faced God asked Arya for her vengeance and her name. The Watch asked Thorne for his obedience and asked Jon for his life.
Whatever you place above yourself, whatever you worship? Whatever you pray to? That something will come for you and yours with the fury of a thousand Northern winters.
This is a story about power, and the gods are actors in it. And if you think Martin and the showrunners are motherfuckers who mess with our emotions, I’d like to introduce you to my friend Yahweh. He has a plague of locusts for you, and some boils, just because you love Him so much.
The gods are actors in this story, the old gods and the new: They raise their hands, and tens of thousands stand.
Quick takes: If indeed this is the end of Stannis, and we don’t see that it is (I AM IN DENIAL SHUT UP), what a perfect ending. Bringing him and Brienne together would never have occurred to me, but if ever two people would get one another, if ever anybody loved his duty more than Stannis it would be Brienne. It’s just too bad she never ran into him when she was in her “swearing undying loyalty to anything that might be around” phase. They would have got on like a very successful bit of arson, in their primes.
So Ghost can show up to save stupid Gilly from getting raped and Sam from getting his ass beat, but can’t be arsed while Jon is being stabbed by half the castle? Pull it together, direwolves. Also, high fives self for calling that Olly would go all stabbity on Jon eventually. Shame to tease us about Dirty Uncle Benjen, though.
We are now, with everybody, exactly where we are at the end of the books (except Shireen, who is still alive, and Stannis, who isn’t dead yet, and Sansa, who is supposed to be in the Vale getting married to the Young Falcon and not base jumping with Reek), and we only skipped about 9,000 pages of Tyrion whining and Dany vision-questing in the desert. Win.
Biggest mistake in Westerosi history: Robert Baratheon not executing Varys immediately upon taking the throne, or whatever creature mothered Lancel Lannister not strangling him in his crib? Death is not an option.
I find the dick-swinging that goes on between Jorah and Daario and Tyrion profoundly exhausting, but I am digging the potential for next season to be the Sopranos set in Meereen, what with the new ruling council of Missandei, Grey Worm and Shut Up Tyrion.
Drogon, I feel you. Dany, let your fucking dragon take a nap. Yeah, yeah, your people need you. He just ate six sheep and a pony and burninated half your enemies. Drogon needs some him time.
Aww, Myrcella. You were the coolest Lannister kid.
Wish list for next season: Resurrection of Jon and/or Stannis (because Davos, ouch, your face), Stannis and Brienne riding into Winterfell to fuck up Ramsay Bolton, Sansa kicking Littlefinger in his Littlenards, Margaery’s reaction to the whole Cersei thing, and Tommen finally getting his pet kittens from the books (he calls one of them Ser Pounce, which is too cute for anything).
Plus maybe Melisandre just straight-up giving her nightfires the finger. Screw you, R’hllor. You and all your kind can burn in your own hells.