#NeverTrump: Too Little Too Late

Everybody was wrong about the Trump phenomenon. I know that I was. And while I still don’t think he’ll be the first Insult Comedian elected President, I’m not as confident of that outcome as I was a few months ago. It’s been that weird of a campaign. It’s like 1968 and 1992 rolled into one.

It looks as if the Donald is poised to take the GOP nomination and continue nattering on about his steaks, wine, bottled water, hotels, casinos, and scam university. Even in this weird year, last night’s victory monologue was genuinely bizarre.

That brings me to the Stop Trump “movement.” It’s unlikely to work because it requires the candidates to collude and agree NOT to compete against one another in certain. I suspect Kasich is willing to do so, but the Jayvee (not Jay-Z) Senators are still having a pissing contest. Little Marco seems determined to live down that nickname by proving he has a big dick and Ted Cruz *is* a dick. Additionally, Americans have a difficult time wrapping their head around the concept of tactical voting. It’s routinely done in countries with parliamentary systems but largely unknown in the land of the free and the home of the literal. Besides, GOP voters see everything in black and white and you have to be able to discern shades of gray for this strategy to work. That factor has got them, uh, whipped…

I think the Stop Trump movement is likely to go the way of another kind of movement and get flushed down the terlet. It’s a pity: as a Democrat I’d prefer to run against an ideologue like Tailgunner Ted than an opportunist like the Insult Comedian. I think they’d both lose but Trump’s brazen opportunism makes him a more dangerous foe. It would be more fun to crush Cruz and wipe that smirk off his face.

The mere thought of a brokered convention is enough to give the punditocracy a stiffy but it’s unlikely to happen. It *would* be fascinating. Since 1984, party conventions have been deliberately dull affairs that decide next to nothing. Hell, the nomination wasn’t up for grabs in 1980 but there was the whole Reagan-Ford co-Presidency mishigas. In 1976, team Reagan attempted to take Ford out with a procedural manuever and in 1972, the ABM (anybody but McGovern) forces tried the same gambit. Both efforts failed. The candidate with the most delegates coming into the convention was nominated.

The last time there was a brokered convention was in 1952 when both  Republicans and Democrats chose their respective nominees on the convention floor. In 2016, that’s purt near impossible on the Democratic side, and almost as difficult for the GOP. Willard Mittbot Romney can wipe the drool off his lip and put his tongue back in his mouth. He won’t be the first robot to be elected President or even nominated twice by his party. Even if the #NeverTrump forces were to stop the Insult Comedian, the nominee won’t be one of the plotters. Sorry, Willard. Holy insincere apology, Batman.

I’ll give some Canadian goofballs the last word:

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