Today is the 50th Anniversary of the first episode of the original Star Trek series. It’s one of my geekier passions and my favorite series of the franchise is Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. It was the series that fleshed out the greedy, horny, big-eared, butt-headed, and misogynistic alien species, the Ferengi; as personified by Quark, lecherous bar owner and smuggler deluxe. The Ferengi are avaricious braggarts who never look when they can leer, never tell the truth when they can lie. Sound familiar? That’s right, Donald (The Insult Comedian) Trump is a Ferengi in hu-man form.
The leader of the Ferengi was called the Grand Nagus and he was played on Deep Space Nine with cackling glee by the distinguished character actor and playwright Wallace Shawn. The Grand Nagus is in charge of enforcing the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition; most of which Trump would find to his liking. Here’s a sampler:
1. Once you have their money, never give it back
2. You can’t cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try
15. Acting stupid is often smart
16. A deal is a deal … until a better one comes along
26. The vast majority of the rich in this galaxy did not inherit their wealth; they stole it
27. The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down
37. You can always buy back a lost reputation
49. Old age and greed will always overcome youth and talent
125. A lie isn’t a lie until someone else knows the truth
126. A lie isn’t a lie, it’s just the truth seen from a different point of view
I’m exhausted after reading all 286 rules of acquisition but you get the idea. It boils down to this: Greed is good and anything you do in search of profit is justified. Sounds like Trump in a wingnut shell. The Ferengi analogy even explains Trump’s Putin love: they always suck up and kick down.
I wish I could say the Trump for Grand Nagus thing is my idea but it’s been floating about the internet for quite some time. I am merely propagating it in my endless quest for profit:
The best piece about Trump and the Ferengi Republicans I’ve seen has a swell title: Donald Trump pledges to replace Constitution with the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition. It’s a scary thought but it would require Trump sitting still long enough to watch some DS9 episodes so I think we’re safe.
Repeat after me: Donald Trump will not be the first Insult Comedian elected President BUT may have the lobes to be Grand Nagus.
Now where did I put my virtual yard sign? Here it is: