It’s bad enough that president* Trump is turning the executive branch into the vanity project of a vain man. Now he wants to fuck with Independence Day and transform it into a tribute to his favorite American: himself. Since the whole thing is a MAGA rally on the public dime, the only salute I’d give him on “Salute To America Day” is an extended middle finger
Does he have any idea of how bad the whole tanks on the lawn shit makes him look? All you have to do is look at his cotton candy piss hair to come up with the correct answer: NO, NO, NO. A THOUSAND TIMES NO.
Richard Nixon pulled a similar stunt early in his administration. He put Willard Marriott, Billy Graham, and Bob Hope in charge of an “Honor America” celebration in 1970. It was intended as a celebration of his so-called silent majority and a rebuke to noisy hippie peacenik scum. The pinkos viewed it as a pro-Vietnam War rally and protested. It turned into a clusterfuck that Tricky Dick had the good sense not to attend.
The Fourth of July should be an emphatically non-partisan event. We all like to think of ourselves as patriots, we just celebrate different aspects of our nation’s history and heritage. This latest attempt to turn it into a salute to the dear leader is doomed to fail.
The post title was inspired by a tweet by Herriman biographer and parade route book signer Michael Tisserand:
I will write a stern letter of rebuke to any media that covers the upcoming Trump July 4 Shit Show with the headline Tanks for the Memories.
— Michael Tisserand (@m_tisserand) July 1, 2019
Michael wasn’t finished with the tank jokes. This one features the least funny Greek ever:
yeah but just wait until trump sees who's driving that tank pic.twitter.com/SwJzUmAYZb
— Michael Tisserand (@m_tisserand) July 3, 2019
It’s Tisserand’s world, we just live in it.
The last word goes to Bob Hope with a song whose title morphed into Thanks For The Memories over the years:
As a counterpoint to Bob Hope, here’s Frank Zappa and Captain Beefheart with a song about the 1976 bi-centennial celebration:
The man doesn’t even have an instinct for spectacle. A flight of B52s would be much more impressive than any number of tanks, as well as doing less damage.