A Shot In The Dark

Donald Trump is such a bad president* that he’s turning me into an anti-vaxxer. The same administration that brought you herd immunity bleach as a cure-all, and demon semen is determined to rush a COVID vaccine to market just time for the 2020 election:

The Trump administration is doubling down on distributing a COVID-19 vaccine before Election Day, aligning the timeline for a crucial public health measure with the President’s political fortunes.

The director of the Centers for Disease Control sent a letter last week to state governors asking that they prepare to have vaccine distribution facilities be “fully operational” by Nov. 1, and that the states waive requirements that would purportedly prevent a private vendor from meeting that deadline.

The CDC followed the letter with additional materials telling states to be ready to distribute the vaccine by late October.

Thanks to the Kaiser of Chaos, the CDC has lost its credibility. This frenetic rush to come up with a “miracle cure” has all the earmarks of Trumpism: haste, stupidity, and corruption. It’s also given me a very short earworm:

Now that Team Trump has taken a wrecking ball to the CDC, they’re out to destroy the FDA:

In so doing, experts say, Trump is taking a sledgehammer to trust two institutions critical to public health: vaccines and the Food and Drug Administration, responsible for ensuring safety in drugs and other treatments.

The Aug. 27 CDC letter sent by Dr. Robert Redfield does not condition the vaccine on whether the FDA has approved one for use.

Rather, the letter “urgently” asks that state waive safety regulations for vaccine distribution “that would prevent these facilities from becoming fully operational by November 1, 2020.”

“I think that the key to do with timing is really the FDA approval,” Claire Hannan, executive director of the association of immunization managers, told TPM. “And the timing of that is just unknown, and we don’t want to race to a certain date because we want that approval to be done thoroughly and correctly.”

The FDA process is slow and methodical as it should be. Neither word applies to Operation Warp Speed, the Trumper vaccine program. As with herd immunity, rushing a vaccine to market is something that has been tried and failed. If you don’t believe me, read this piece by Rick Perlstein:

The failed 1976 Ford vaccine plan was used against the Swine Flu. In 2020, we have a swine for president*.

If the Trump regime were truly dedicated to finding a COVID vaccine, they wouldn’t have refused to co-operate with the WHO. The World Health Organization, not the band. Of course, I trust Pete and Roger a helluva lot more than I do President* Pennywise.

I hate to slander the sainted name of Inspector Clouseau by comparing the Impeached Insult Comedian to him. But if the ill-fitting trench coat fits, so be it. Team Trump is displaying all the subtlety and grace that Clouseau was known for without any of his sweetness. The Darnold talks funny too.

When I said I had become an anti-vaxxer, I was joking. I’m only opposed to a vaccine that’s sponsored by the Inspector Clouseau of presidents* and his accursed son-in-law; both of whom are likely to get a cut of the proceeds. It’s how this gangster regime works. The whole thing brings out my inner Chief Inspector Dreyfus:

This attempt to rush a COVID vaccine is another sign of Donald’s desperation to win a second term. He’s doing it for the adulation from the marks he’s duped into following him. That adulation is why he can’t repudiate *anyone* who supports him regardless of how loathsome they are. If you worship the false prophet from Astoria Queens, you’re a very fine person. It’s enough to drive a sane person mad. It’s the same effect Clouseau had on Chief Inspector Dreyfus at the end of Return of the Pink Panther:

There were six Pink Panther movies featuring Peter Sellers as Clouseau and Herbert Lom as Dreyfus. It’s time for voters to deny the Kaiser of Chaos a sequel by asking themselves this question posed by The Who, the band not the World Health Organization:

3 thoughts on “A Shot In The Dark

  1. Snarki, child of Loki says:

    My bet?

    The TRUMPVAX™ that is rolled out in late October is a mix of bleach and lysol, sold at a YUUUGE markup (you know that the Trump Klan have to get their beak wet).

    All MAGAts should be encouraged to inject it, and if they’re not feeling better in 2 days, to inject again at a higher dose.

  2. Collin says:

    Clouseau to Dreyfus, on his return from the mental hospital “A lot of things have changed since you went crazy”. Too funny.

  3. c u n d gulag says:

    Thank you!
    Your post had two of the things I love the most:
    The Who, and Peter Sellers – especially the PP movies. And Dr. Strangelove, too!
    You also included a creature I despise as much as one can:
    Dumb-n-old tRUMP!
    Not enough bad shit can happen to him and his crime family!
    And sadly, not enough will.

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