Scattershot Election Observations

It’s been a long time since I posted something other than Odds & Sods on Saturday. A combination of hurricane agita and post-Zeta exhaustion made me less prolific this week. Hence this post.

I remain cautiously optimistic about a Democratic sweep on Tuesday. A more competent group of ratfuckers might do more damage than Team Trump but the solution to ratfucking is TURNOUT, TURNOUT, TURNOUT.

Early voting has been amazing. Texas is suddenly a swing state, not a white whale because of it. They have easily exceeded their ENTIRE 2016 vote total thereby pleasing me and my liberal friends and relations in the Lone Star state. Once again, this proves that the cure for ratfucking is TURNOUT, TURNOUT, TURNOUT.

It’s time for our first musical interlude:

I know that’s not a political song it’s from Rosanne’s I Broke Up With Rodney album, but the title works so don’t scoff at me.

President* Pennywise’s behavior on the stump hasn’t surprised me but it’s still shocking. The Omaha rally mishigas is a perfect metaphor for his presidency*. He stranded his supporters in the cold and didn’t give a shit about it whatsoever. It sounds as if they stiffed the bus company or some such shit.

A reminder that the Omaha rally was held to hang on to one electoral vote because Nebraska apportions them by district. They know they’re losing.

It’s time for our second musical interlude:

Who knew that the short-lived Bay Area band Moby Grape would be relevant in 2020? The only things I know about Omaha is that Jack Nicholson’s last great film About Schmidt was set there, and that Bob Gibson and my friends the Homans are from Omaha. Moby Grape was not.

The Trump super-spreader rallies are for him, not for his supporters. He’s so needy that he needs the adoration of strangers in red hats that he sold them. Trumpers are the perfect marks. Fortunately, not everyone who voted for him in 2016 is a mark and many have rebelled.

There was a bizarre incident at a Trump rally in Tampa Florida. It was so hot in the crowd of unmasked marks that the fire department misted the crowd with fire hoses. The Impeached Insult Comedian once again showed that he has no idea of how anything works. He saw it happening and said: “Friend or foe? If they’re foes, we’ll take care of those sons of bitches.”

Nice, Donald. The biggest SOB at that rally bestrode the stage. Sorry for using such a big word but I don’t speak only Jerkish.

Let’s move from foes to friends. Team Biden has run a superb campaign. Whoever came up with the idea for Drive-In rallies is a genius.

Using former president Obama as an attack dog was also a swell idea: it lets Joey B Shark take the high road. Obama has been on the trail needling Trump and Fox News. It’s a reminder of what a funny man Barack Obama is. And the Kaiser of Chaos hates being mocked. Humor is the best medicine against him.

Team Biden also gets high marks for listening to the locals. In 2016, Team Clinton ignored warnings from Michigan and Wisconsin that electoral trouble was brewing. In 2020, the Biden campaign is working closely with swing state campaigns. In fact, Mark Kelly is running such a good senate race in Arizona that he’s likely to pull the national ticket to victory on his coattails.

In other 2020 is not 2016 news, Joe Biden’s personal favorability ratings have gone up. Trump’s attacks have been ludicrous. Who believes Biden will abolish God and air-conditioning? Not even President* Pennywise.

A quick note about the Georgia senate race between David (Not The Chicken Man) Perdue and challenger Jon Ossoff. They had a debate and Ossoff gutted the incumbent:

Perdue cancelled the last debate so he could attend one of President* Pennywise’s COVIDY rallies.

David Perdue is a pussy. He should grab himself.

I’ll have more on Monday about the election and which past election this feels like.  Hint: it’s not 2016. It was not the only election in our history, y’all.

The last word goes to Badfinger:


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