Coup Chatter Clickbait

Has everyone really forgotten all the empty threats issued by the Trump regime?

Remember when they threatened to flood the streets of “Democrat” cities with federal law enforcement officers? They popped up in Portland but other than a few stray sightings elsewhere it didn’t happen.

Remember when Bill Barr promised an October Surprise with the Durham investigation? It didn’t happen.

Remember when Trump threatened to strip John Brennan of his security clearance? It didn’t happen.

I could go on and on like this but that would be boring and like the Marx Brothers I aim to entertain. Empty threats are Team Trump’s jam.

The preternaturally pompous Ezra Klein is fanning coup fears at Vox as are others elsewhere. I’m not linking to any of this shit because it’s all clickbait which rhymes with masturbate. It’s all wankery and malakatude as far as I’m concerned.

There’s a wave of hysteria on social media over Mitch McConnell and Bill Barr. Some are convinced that the Turtle “believed” Trump’s claims of fraud. He’s the most cynical man in American politics and doesn’t believe in anything. His posture can be summed up as follows: Georgia, Georgia, Georgia. He’s supporting Trump’s specious and baseless claims not because he’s a coup plotter but because he wants to maintain his Senate majority, which is threatened by the Georgia runoffs. Georgia, Georgia, Georgia.

As to Bill Barr, he’s allegedly investigating claims of fraud. If you read the statement/order it’s a classic CYA document. It’s lawyerly gibberish issued to placate President* Pennywise. I’m glad that a career prosecutor resigned in protest but it looks like the Durham investigation writ small. Another career prosecutor resigned over that fiasco.

If the Impeached Insult Comedian is planning a coup, why is he talking to his cronies about running as a challenger in 2024?

If the Impeached Insult Comedian is planning a coup, why is his inner circle trying to figure out how to convince him that he lost? Even Slumlord Jared is trying to return to the reality-based community.

If the Impeached Insult Comedian is planning a coup, why is he doing it in plain sight? Successful coups are plotted behind closed doors and require consistency and determination. When was Team Trump ever consistent?

The actions that some are calling a coup, including those at the Pentagon, are the latest attempt to sow chaos and confusion and raise money while they’re at it. Political psy-ops and fundraising are the only things Team Trump is good at. Nobody thought the transition would be a smooth one. Team Biden is ready to return fire.

Coups involve planning, co-ordination, and secrecy. When did the Kaiser of Chaos ever plan anything?  His legal strategy involves throwing shit against the wall to see how much of it sticks. So far, the wall is free of shit stains.

It’s past time for people to expel Donald Trump from their heads. He took up residency there back when we were sitting political shiva in 2016. It’s time to stop selectively believing his lies when they add drama to the narrative. Those who do so are in a word: GULLIBLE.

Trump is a loser who’s trying to craft a “stab in the back” narrative much like the Imperial German General Staff did after losing the Great War. That makes him more like Ludendorff than Hitler. Of course, Ludendorff knew how to plan. The Kaiser of Chaos does not.

If this is coup plotting, Rufus T. Firefly of Duck Soup fame was a brilliant wartime leader. He was not.

Joe Biden understands Team Trump’s antics for what they are: “an embarrassment.” He laughed when asked about potential 2024 candidate Mike Pompeo’s comment about the “transition to a second Trump administration.” Biden doesn’t allow the Trumpers to live in his head. He’s knows this is another con job, not a coup.

Unless you’re into performative politics, coup chatter is for chumps.

Repeat after me: Donald Trump is a pussy. He should grab himself.

The last word goes to Groucho Marx:


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