It’s only been 12 days since the Twelfth Night White Riot, but the arrest toll keeps mounting. The arrestees are a hodge-podge of superficially respectable citizens and raging monster looneys who aren’t affiliated with the satirical British political party of that name. They’re just lunatics.
But one group of people has already come forward and directly implicated Mr. Trump in the riot at the Capitol: some of his own supporters who were arrested while taking part in it. In court papers and interviews, at least four pro-Trump rioters have said they joined the march that spiraled into violence in part because the president encouraged them to do so.
In the past few days, a retired firefighter charged with assaulting members of the Capitol Police force told a friend he went to the building following “the president’s instructions,” according to a criminal complaint, and a Texas real estate agent accused of breaching the building told a reporter that by protesting in Washington, she had “answered the call of my president.”
A Virginia man has told the F.B.I. that he and his cousin marched on the Capitol because Mr. Trump said “something about taking Pennsylvania Avenue.” And a lawyer for the so-called QAnon Shaman — who invaded the building in a Viking costume — said that Mr. Trump was culpable, and he planned to ask the White House for a pardon.
“Does our president bear responsibility?” the lawyer, Al Watkins, told The New York Times. “Hell, yes, he does.”
The so-called QAnon Shaman is the dipshit in the featured image above. I rarely use the tern cultural appropriation as I love eclectic fusion cuisine and eclectic multi-cultural music, BUT this case is an exception. An exceptional exception. He’s not a shaman, he’s a dipshit in a cheesy costume that would be mocked on the streets of the Marigny on Mardi Gras day.
The so-called QAnon Shaman is a jerk named Jacob Chansley whose Q moniker is Jake Angelli. He’s anything but angelic. He’s the Dipshit Insurrectionist who left a note threatening Pence then demanded a vegan diet in jail. I don’t give a shit about the latter, but the former is some serious shit.
Another Disphit Insurrectionist of note is a blonde realtor from Frisco, Texas named Jenna Ryan. She’s the poster girl for white privilege: she took a private plane to participate in the sack of the Capitol. She called it one of the best days of her life. She’s now whining about her arrest and demanding a pardon from President* Pennywise.
Ryan went on a PR offensive after the riot, telling Spectrum News that she “answered the call of my president” and proudly stormed the Capitol because the election was rigged. “It’s not necessarily about taking over the Capitol, it’s about, ‘We the people own this building,’” she said.
According to a criminal complaint filed in the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia, Ryan diligently documented her participation in the mob—starting from her flight on a “small private aircraft” on Jan. 5.
The next day, she posted a bathroom mirror selfie on Facebook with the caption: “We’re gonna go down and storm the capitol. They’re down there right now and that’s why we came and so that’s what we are going to do. So wish me luck.” She added: “This is a prelude going to war.”
In a since-deleted video, she filmed herself going into the Capitol through the Rotunda. She walked past broken windows, up some stairs, and said, “We are going to fucking go in here. Life or death, it doesn’t matter. Here we go.”
Then, she turned to the camera and added, “Y’all know who to hire for your realtor. Jenna Ryan for your realtor.”
By the time Ryan made it to the door of a building “clearly desecrated, with broken glass windows shattered, and security alarms sounding,” she yelled “U-S-A! U-S-A!” and “Here we are, in the name of Jesus!,” the complaint says.
Patriot or dipshit? Clearly the latter. At best, the Jenna Ryans of the world are cosplay patriots.
Team Trump has tried to fob off the blame on Antifa and “the Democrat party,” but the rioters keep undermining those preposterous claims. The Dipshit Insurrection is not a false flag event, it’s a Trump flag event.
The Kaiser of Chaos’ Twelfth Night speech makes him morally culpable for the Dispshit Insurrection, but whether he’s legally responsible is another matter. I think he should be charged but Con Law experts offer differing opinions on whether his speech falls under the 1969 SCOTUS decision, Brandenburg v. Ohio. That’s why continuing the impeachment process is so vital. Stay tuned.
Back to the Dipshit Insurrectionists. It’s cute that they think the Impeached Insult Comedian cares about them. He only cares about himself. The associates he’s pardoned thus far had something on Trump. The vague claim that they were following Trump’s orders when they vandalized and looted the Capitol is not enough to secure a pardon. Sorry, Jake. Sorry, Jenna. You’re morons who wouldn’t get the pun in the post title.
The Incredible Mr. Lindsey was on Fox News yesterday whining about national disunity. He claims that continuing the impeachment process will further divide the nation and that it’s up to Democrats to fix the shit that Republicans have broken. There’s a simple thing Republicans can do to unite the country: admit that the election fraud claims were all a lie and that Joe Biden won fair and square. You won’t be risking a mean tweet since Trump is banned from his favorite platform. Try telling the truth for once. A novel approach for the party of Trump but it might feel good.
Finally, it’s John Hiatt month on Saturday Odds & Sods. Hiatt wrote a song in 1995 about the “militia” types of the Clinton era, Native Son. The chorus is still relevant 26 years later:
Take your wife
Take your family
Take your gun
Running through the woods
And the burned out neighborhoods
Looking for someone
A member of your tribe
A Place you can hide
‘Til the war has begun
‘Cause in the fields before the flood
You’ll be spilling blood
Like a native son
John Hiatt gets the last word: