Steve Scalise Plays Button, Button, Who’s Got The Button

I haven’t mocked my hometown horror Steve Scalise for quite some time. He’s actually a nightmarish neighbor as he hails from next door Metry in Jefferson Parish. I could technically call him my homey, but I’d rather stick a needle in my eye, so I’ll pass.

As House GOP whip, Scalise is in charge of vote counting and nagging his members to vote the party line. It can’t be easy when your leader has the backbone of a jellyfish, but I have no sympathy for either Scalise or KMac.

It turns out that Scalise was disoriented by a vote *for* impeachment by Tom Rice of South Carolina. I’ll let TPM’s wonderfully named Summer Concepcion sum up the story for you:

Rep. Tom Rice (R-SC) recalled House Minority Whip Steve Scalise (R-LA) being caught off guard when the South Carolina Republican voted to impeach former President Trump for “incitement of insurrection” in a Washington Post report published Sunday.

Shortly after voting to impeach Trump a week after the Jan. 6 Capitol insurrection, Rice rushed off the House floor to catch a flight back to his home in Myrtle Beach.

Scalise, however, wanted a word with Rice before he could scurry away from the chamber.

Rice told the Post that Scalise’s staffers called him up and insisted that the South Carolina Republican had “hit the wrong button.” Rice quickly denied that was the case.

“I didn’t get to the bottom of the steps before Scalise called me and he said, ‘Tom, you hit the wrong button’ and I said, ‘No, it was the right vote.’ Then he said, ‘You sure?’ And I said, ‘Absolutely,’” Rice told the Post. “I think a lot of people were surprised.”

I always think of butts when I contemplate Steve Scalise. He’s a butthead and buttinski who, but for Bobby Jindal, would have been first elected to the House in 2004. He even has his own decorative butt-plug as you can see from the featured image. I’ve posted it before, but it never gets old.

Now Steve Scalise is playing button, button, who’s got the button with Tom Rice. Even if his leader is the Candyass Candyman, Scalise is no Willy Wonka:

Now. Button, button, who's got the button?

How can I top Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka? I won’t even try but the Oompa Loompas are game. They get the last word.

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