Shitshow On Fraternity Row

I’m late to this stinky story but as your resident LSU alum and shit stirrer I felt compelled to write about it. Besides, post titles like this don’t come along every day.

The Advocate had the first shot at this headline but they blew it because of that whole pesky family newspaper thing:

Members of all LSU sororities and some fraternities must get tested for COVID-19 after the school found traces of the virus in the wastewater system serving their area of the campus.

The university sent members of 15 Greek chapters an email Thursday notifying them that they must be tested at one of the three on-campus testing sites within 48 hours. School spokesman Ernie Ballard said that students have until 11 a.m. Saturday, the first day of Greek recruitment, to meet the testing requirement.

After the shit hit the fan,  there was a follow-up story:

LSU spokesman Ernie Ballard said the call for testing came after the school detected “high traces” of coronavirus in the sewage from Greek Row. And with just two days to comply, some 3,000 members of 15 Greek chapters lined up in cars to get swabbed at the school’s drive-through clinics.

Abbie-Grace Milligan, Greek senior and vice president of student government, said she got an email at noon Thursday instructing her to get tested at one of three on-campus testing sites. She waited in line for nearly two hours on Gourrier Avenue near the UREC field testing site but left without getting swabbed.

“It was an absolute nightmare,” she said. “I saw five people run out of gas while waiting. People were even getting out of their cars to use the bathroom on the side of the road. It was madness.”

I guess you could call that the shitstorm after the shitshow. No shit.

The kids should consider it a test-drive for the next hurricane evacuation. Those are usually shitshows as well.

After the feces hit the fan and the Pfizer vaccine was formally approved by the FDA, LSU belatedly and begrudgingly changed their vaccination policy:

The announcement is full of loopholes, but it’s better than the previous policy which was “Y’all come,”

This stinky situation calls for an antidote. There’s one that  I wrote about 7 years ago in a post called Smells Like School Spirit.

Ladies and germs, I give you the LSU scent circa 2014:

Oddly enough, the scent was called LSU Mask. They need more of those on the Red Stick campus as well.

In honor of the LSU’s latest attempt to get ahold of the pandemic, the last word goes to Stephen Stills and Manassas:

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