Halloween fun in days gone by

I used to own a half-duplex, with a sidewalk that passed by the guest bedroom window. One Halloween, I wanted to do something other than just hand out candy, and (being allergic to decorating) I decided to set up a scary surprise.

I plugged my 400W bass head into one of my 2X15 cabinets, and set my Yamaha SPX90 effects processor on top of the head, then plugged a SM57 mike into the processor and set the processor to pitch-shift.

OK – let’s try this thing out. I dropped the pitch by one full octave and did a death-metal gutteral pronouncement into the mike.

Cool, but too low-frequency to make out the words.

I adjusted the pitch up to only a half-octave down.

Perfect.

Now, I pushed the 2X15 cabinet up to the inside of the sidewalk-facing window, and opened the window, leaving the blinds down/closed, and waited.

I had turned the amp volume up to three or four, and if I made a low growl, it actually sounded like an irritated lion. I sat in the darkened bedroom and waited.

The first group of twilight trick-or-treaters came up the walk. I held silence and let them pass by on their way to the porch.

My then-wife handed out candy to all, and told them all to be careful leaving, and to watch out for the Candy Troll.

They came back down the sidewalk past the window, and I roared

“GIVE ME YOUR CANDY !!!!”

It was probably in excess of 110db, and sounded like Satan having a really bad day. They were possibly three feet from the bass cabinet inside the window.

The candy went everywhere, the kids screamed and scattered, and my then-wife rushed out (possibly to comfort them?), and one of the little boys turned to her and said:

“This is the best Halloween house EVER!!”