Supreme Court To Trump: Drop Dead

The post title is exaggerated hyperbole. That phrase may seem redundant but what’s a little redundancy among friends?

Times are tough, the news is bleak so we have to celebrate whenever we can. In this instance, the Supreme Court’s refusal to allow former President* Pennywise’s executive privilege argument to prevail. The Dipshit Insurrection Committee will get his papers including handwritten notes, which are surely done in Sharpie.

Only Clarence Thomas wanted to hear oral arguments.

Justice Bro muttered about the need for former Oval Ones to have some form of executive privilege, yadda, yadda, yadda,

SCOTUS issued an authorless opinion, which is the judicial equivalent of a poster shot such as this:

WHAM. Rejection by Kareem. BAM.

Yes, Virginia, Kareem wasn’t always a Laker and very few players ever blocked a shot by Wilt Chamberlain. That ends this throwback hoops reverie.

Who’s the Kareem of the 1/6 committee? Kareem is an intelligent literate man so how about Jamie Raskin? At 5’10” he’s only of average height but he’s a giant in every other way.

Let’s get back to the court’s ruling in Trump v. Thompson.

Here’s the money passage:

Because the Court of Appeals concluded that President Trump’s claims would have failed even if he were the incumbent, his status as a former President necessarily made no difference to the court’s decision.

WHAM. Rejection by SCOTUS. BAM.

I call it a rejection, the New York Times called it a rebuke, which is good as it rhymes with puke as in:

Whatever you want to call it, it’s a victory for the rule of law.

WHAM. Rule of law wins a round. BAM.

I’m still reading James Ellroy hence the WHAMS and the BAMS.  I should throw some credit John Madden’s way as well. DOINK. 

It’s time to circle back to the title. It’s inspired by this classic New York Daily News headline:

WHAM. Ford lost New York in 1976. BAM.

The Daily News knew it was on to a winner, so they’ve recycled the headline to hurl abuse at the Impeached Insult Comedian and his lackey Tailgunner Ted:

WHAM. Lady Liberty flips the bird at the Cowardly Cuban. BAM.

The Cruz headline was also inspired by this movie title:

WHAM. Freddie’s Dead. Phoebe’s retired from acting. BAM.

If you were expecting a semi-scholarly post because of the Legal Docket rubric, I wasn’t feeling it today. I don’t even want to delve into the Who Is The Unmasked Man? controversy starring Justices Gorsuch, Roberts, and Sotomayor.

WHAM. Mask up, you ludicrous libertarian fuck. BAM.

I might have written a more serious post if I’d predicted SCOTUS wouldn’t hear the Trump case here. I did so IRL but not doing it on Frist Draft meant I could not say:

WHAM. I told you so. BAM.

Back to my all-time favorite basketball player, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. One of my Christmas presents from Dr. A was a subscription to his Substack blog.

WHAM. Thanks, babe. BAM.

The last word goes to WHAM (who else?) followed by David Bowie’s Suffragette City with its “WHAM, BAM, THANK YOU M’AM” refrain: