Malaka Of The Week: Garrett Soldano

Garrett Soldano is a chiropractor who is running for the Republican gubernatorial nomination in Michigan. Perhaps his profession explains the ease with which he puts his foot in his mouth. And that is why Garrett Soldano is malaka of the week.

Soldano is an unknown candidate whose strident rhetoric has helped him raise big bucks. Here’s what he said on his web site about Governor Gretchen Whitmer:

For over a year, Gretchen Whitmer has ruled as an Emperor – not a Governor, and certainly not a leader. Endless lockdowns and blatant corruption have defined her administration, which has targeted restaurants, small business, and every Michigander just trying to make a living.

Exploiting a health crisis to gain unprecedented power, Whitmer has ignored all checks and balances and empowered bureaucrats to destroy innocent lives.

Emperor, not Empress? If you think that Malaka Soldano is trying to establish his pro-feminist bona fides by using a gender-neutral term, think again.

Bullet points courtesy of TPM:

  • Instead of letting survivors of rape get abortions, “how about we start inspiring women in the culture to let them understand and know how heroic they are, and how unbelievable that they are, that God put them in this moment?” Soldano suggested.
  • Soldano emphasized a need to “defend the DNA” at conception because people who want abortions might end up killing the next Mother Teresa. “They don’t know,” he said. “That little baby inside them may be the next president, may be the next person who changes humanity.”

My initial reaction to these comments was stunned silence.

Does this malaka think that being raped and impregnated is inspiring? Oy just oy.

Does this malaka think that giving birth to a rapist’s baby is heroic? Oy just oy.

Does this malaka think that “defending the DNA” is a thing? Oy just oy.

Here’s the tweet that let this feral cat out of the bag:

Or the baby inside them could be the next Ted Bundy or Aileen Wuornos.

In 2012, similar comments about abortion sank Todd Akin’s challenge to Senator Claire McCaskill. It was too much for Missouri then. Hopefully, this is too much for Michigan now.

Garrett Soldano’s candidacy is another sign of our changing political times. Michigan GOPers used to be known for their moderation. It’s the state of such sane Republicans as George Romney, William Milliken, Gerald Ford, and Robert Griffin. None of those gentleman would recognize their state party in 2022.

Malaka Soldano’s goal in life is to obtain former President* Pennywise’s endorsement. That explains the extreme rhetoric and overall malakatude of his campaign. He claims to be standing up for Michigan, I wish he would sit down and shut up.

The Heartland Signal deserves props for unearthing Soldano’s podcast comments. What’s the next revelation? Soldano praising the Whitmer kidnap plotters? It wouldn’t surprise me at all. And that is why Garrett Soldano is malaka of the week.

Soldan’s chiropractic practice is in Kalamazoo. The last word goes to Ben Folds: