“The Charge Of The Lightweight Brigade”

Steve Bell’s cartoon from yesterday’s Guardian depicts British Prime Minister Boris Johnson in over his head and sinking fast. I had already planned to post about the meltdown of the Tory government but awakened to the news that Bozza was kinda sorta resigning.

I say kinda sorta because Boris wants to cling to office as interim PM until his party elects a new leader. So, he’s out as Conservative party leader but still Prime Minister. It’s unclear if the parliamentary Tory party will go along with his refusal to go now. They’d prefer that he pay the Queen a visit and go now.

Here’s the golden oldie that’s the new Tory theme song:

Boris’ speech was not only moody and blue, it was quite Trumpy. He bragged about his dubious accomplishments and his big election win in 2019.

Unlike the Impeached Insult Comedian, he won a landslide victory but squandered it with his feckless, mendacious, and narcissistic leadership. Like Trump, Boris has bad hair and his rhetorical style is characterized by bluster and bullshit but he knows some big words. Believe me.

The speech was accompanied by heckling and cat calls from the public. Larry the Downing Street cat had already cat called for Boris to go. Here’s his instant analysis of the speech:

The post title comes from a rare flash of wit by Labour Party leader Keir Starmer. He’s an upright and decent chap but is one of those lawyers who has absolutely no sense of humor. The charge of the lightweight brigade evokes Tennyson as well as politicians stampeding to the exit. I suspect the line came from an aide as Starmer prides himself on his exquisite dullness. That’s certainly a contrast to shambolic Johnsonian chaos.

Boris clung to power in a leadership vote last month but continued to leak damaging stories about senior cabinet ministers such as Rishi Sunak and Sajid Javid. The Britism for these leaks is “briefed against.” Yesterday, Sunak and Javid got payback by simultaneously resigning and blasting Boris in the House of Commons. They not only debriefed him, they pantsed him as well. Fitting payback for a posh schoolyard bully like Boris.

The Tory party specializes in deposing leaders even those such as Harold Macmillan and Margaret Thatcher who brought them multiple victories. Macmillan was ousted because of the infamous Profumo sex scandal, Thatcher because of hubris and general nastiness. The Johnson premiership collapsed under the weight of lies and scandals too numerous to detail as well as lies about those scandals. Lying is what Boris Johnson does best.

If Americans think we’re on the decline, it’s nothing compared to the UK. Brexit has hollowed out its economy and threatens to unravel the precarious peace in Northern Ireland. The Good Friday agreement nearly went bad because of double-dealing by the Johnson government. Unfortunately, the Tories will cling to power under a new leader who may be almost as bad as Boris but is unlikely to be as big a liar. Only Donald Trump is.

Britain’s gain is satire’s loss. Mocking British politicians is only a sideline for me but Boris provided an ample and easy target. Even after the kinda sorta resignation speech, it looks as if he’ll have to be dragged kicking and screaming from Downing Street. Dignity thy name is NOT Boris Johnson.

Larry the Cat will have complete coverage on Twitter and The Guardian is all over the story like a cheap bespoke suit if such a thing is possible.

I’m posting this early because the story is so fluid: Boris could be done by dusk. Stay tuned.

The last word goes to Asia with the Tory party’s other new theme song:


2 thoughts on ““The Charge Of The Lightweight Brigade”

  1. Um, “The Charge of the Light Brigade” is by Tennyson. The “lightweight brigade” line may “invoke” Kipling, because the Crimean War (during which the charge took place) was certainly imperialistic, but the poem wasn’t actually written by him.

    1. Oops. I stand corrected and made the change on the post. It’s what happens when you write something fast to keep ahead of developments. Thanks for pointing that out.

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