I have not and will not read Breaking History. I’d rather stick needles in my eyes and play thrash metal on a loop than do so.

The title itself puts me off. I’m not 100% sure what it means. I guess Kushner thinks he’s a disrupter of history. I hate that term. It evokes Silicon Valley douchebags. Is Slumlord Jared a Manhattan or West Palm Beach douchebag now? Wherever he lives, he’s a douchebag.

That brings me to the quote. It comes from a review of the clueless princeling’s memoir by Dwight Garner in the NYT:

This book is like a tour of a once majestic 18th-century wooden house, now burned to its foundations, that focuses solely on, and rejoices in, what’s left amid the ashes: the two singed bathtubs, the gravel driveway and the mailbox. Kushner’s fealty to Trump remains absolute. Reading this book reminded me of watching a cat lick a dog’s eye goo.

This sycophancy is at odds with Javanka’s previously declared effort to separate themselves from toxic old dad. I guess fealty is plan B. They’ll have to tell the rest of the family what fealty means.

Since I refuse to read Breaking Bad History, here’s a link to a piece that breaks it down: All The Juicy Gossip From Jared Kushner’s Book. In it, we learn that dismal old dad lied about a possible Ivanka-Tom Brady thing. Anyone surprised? It’s too bad. I think those two deserve one another.

While we’re on subject of Tom Brady. Here’s my favorite moment from last year’s Saints shutout of Brady’s Tampa team:

That’s safety Chauncey “C.J.” Gardner-Johnson getting in Brady’s face. The Saints player should not be confused with this guy:

That is, of course, the great Peter Sellers as Chauncey Gardiner. Now that I think of it, Jared Kushner and Chauncey have at least one thing in common: neither ever had an original thought in their lives.

I went pretty far afield with that one, didn’t I? Oh well, what the hell.

The last word goes to Richard Thompson with a song that may or may not evoke the second line of the post.