My original plan for today was to wallow in the full J6 Committee report and report back to our readers. I feel a mild case of Dipshit Insurrection coverage burnout, so I decided to bring out a Magritte featured image and go potpourri on your asses. Beware of falling Belgians.
There will, however, still be some J6 Committee tidbits. They own the news week as opposed to Newsweek, which is a shadow of its former self.
Let’s break this sucker into categories. It’s what Alex Trebek would have done. Hell, it’s what Mayim Bialik and Ken Jennings would do.
Cassidy’s Witness Tampering Lawyer Revealed: His name is Stefan Passantino. I like his name better than the legal advice he gave star witness Cassidy Hutchinson.
Passantino told Cassidy that it was okay to testify that she didn’t recall something even if she did. There’s a name for that: suborning perjury.
“It can be a federal crime for any witness to tell congressional investigators that she does not recall information, when she does in fact clearly recall. It is also a federal crime to counsel someone to commit that act. Indeed, one of the most incriminating Nixon tapes included the sounds of President Richard Nixon coaching his senior aides to lie by claiming “I don’t remember, I can’t recall.”
BOB HALDEMAN: You can say you forgot, too, can’t you?
JOHN DEAN: Sure
PRESIDENT NIXON: That’s right.
JOHN DEAN: But you can’t — you’re — very high risk in a perjury situation.
President Nixon: That’s right. Just be damn sure you say, “I don’t —“
BOB HALDEMAN: Yeah —
PRESIDENT NIXON: “—remember, I can’t recall. I can’t give any honest — an answer to that that I can recall.” But that’s it.
BOB HALDEMAN: You have the same perjury thing on the Hill, don’t you?
JOHN DEAN: That’s right.
PRESIDENT NIXON: Oh hell, yes.”
Tricky’s illegal legal advice led to Haldeman’s conviction for lying to Congress.
I’m glad Ms. Hutchinson changed lawyers.
Let’s repeat her First Draft theme song to close out the segment:
Trump’s Taxing News: In other House committee news, the Ways and Means Committee has released six years of the Impeached Insult Comedian’s taxes. They won’t be able to do anything with them because of the delay and IRS stonewalling. The ball is now in the Senate Finance Committee’s hands.
Fun fact from the NYT:
The Internal Revenue Service failed to audit former President Donald J. Trump during his first two years in office despite a program that makes the auditing of sitting presidents mandatory, a House committee revealed on Tuesday after an extraordinary vote to make public six years of his tax returns.
Mr. Trump filed returns in 2017 for the two previous tax years, but the I.R.S. began auditing those filings only in 2019 — the first on the same day in April the Ways and Means Committee requested access to his taxes and any associated audits, a report by the panel said.
Trump paid no taxes in 2020. Nice work if you can get it.
I’m skipping the obvious tax tune in favor of this one:
Cab Calloway, country singer? Who knew. It’s pretty darn good but I wish a live clip existed. I’d love to see Cab act this tune out.
Speaking of country singers.
Showtime’s George & Tammy: I like this mini-series. The acting is excellent: Jessica Chastain inhabits Tammy Wynette and pulls off the singing. Michael Shannon’s performance as George Jones is excellent with an important exception: the singing.
I knew it was risky for Shannon to try to sing like George Jones. He’s not bad but he’s no George Jones. Possum was one of the greatest singers of the 20th Century in any genre. Shannon is decent, George was sublime.
I’ve been fond of Michael Shannon since he played Agent Van Weirdo on Boardwalk Empire. The only place he’ll ever be able to sing like George Jones is in his dreams.
Another issue with George & Tammy: the great Walton Goggins is wasted as Earl Peanutt Montgomery. All he does is play guitar and grin. I keep waiting for him to go Shane Vendrell or Boyd Crowder on our asses to no avail.
That’s my countryman Michael Chiklis in the GIF from The Shield. Shane appears to be in some distress. Oh well, what the hell, Vendrell.
Fare Thee Well, Pat Leahy: After 48 years, Vermont Senator Pat Leahy is retiring from the senate. He gave his farewell address yesterday.
Leahy is the last member of the Watergate Babies class of 1974. He was the first Democrat elected to the Senate from the Green Mountain State and, as far as I know, the only Deadhead solon.
This is for you, Senator:
It’s the Winter Solstice. My late friend Michael Homan was big on solstices. His band Half Pagan only performed on the solstices. It was a side hustle, after all. Here’s their ode to the Winter Solstice:
The last word goes to Jethro Tull with two versions of this potpourri post’s theme song: