KMac’s Funny Valentine

The NYT is practicing access journalism again. This time with Speaker KMac and his new main political squeeze, Marge Taylor Greene.

They’ve brought Aussie hack Jonathan Swan-Swine over from Axios and he produced a puff piece called: How Kevin McCarthy Forged an Ironclad Bond with Marjorie Taylor Greene. I am not making this up. I wish that I was.

Here’s the opening kiss blown MTG’s way by KMac:

“I will never leave that woman,” Mr. McCarthy, a California Republican, told the friend, who described the private conversation on the condition of anonymity. “I will always take care of her.”

That sounds like something out of a bodice ripping romantic novel set in the 18th Century. KMac sounds like Ross Poldark mooning over his lost love, Elizabeth. Pass the barf bag.

Here’s kiss number two blown by the Speaker to his funny valentine:

“If you’re going to be in a fight, you want Marjorie in your foxhole,” Mr. McCarthy said. Both he and Ms. Greene agreed to brief interviews for this article. “When she picks a fight, she’s going to fight until the fight’s over. She reminds me of my friends from high school, that we’re going to stick together all the way through.”

He went to school with wingnuts and conspiracy theorists? In Bakersfield? Who knew?

Swan-Swine and co-author Catie Edmondson give KMac some love as well calling him “an affable fixture of the Washington establishment.”

I’d call him an unprincipled dipshit who blows with the wind. In 2023, the wind is howling on the far right.

Cue musical interlude:

Consider that a sardonic palate cleanser after the icky treacle flowing from KMac to the QAnon Lady.

MTG’s effect on KMac is not just personal. Get ready to gag again:

Ms. Greene, in turn, has taken on an outsize role as a policy adviser to Mr. McCarthy, who has little in the way of a fixed ideology of his own and has come to regard the Georgia congresswoman as a vital proxy for the desires and demands of the right-wing base that increasingly drives his party. He has adopted her stances on opposing vaccine mandates and questioning funding for the war in Ukraine, and even her call to reinvestigate the Jan. 6, 2021, attack on the Capitol to show what she has called “the other side of the story.”

Holy magical thinking, Batman. It’s as if the Wicked Witch of the South waved her wand and banished KMac’s post-Dipshit Insurrection speech from human memory. I have the receipts:

The rest of the article details their odd couple courtship in disgusting detail. It sounds like Marge played KMac, which isn’t the hardest thing to do since he’s an empty vessel. I’d say that KMac sold his to soul to the Q-Devil, but he doesn’t have one.

This is how Swan-Swine describes how KMac handled Marge when she was in full freak show mode:

But even as she continued to traffic in offensive conspiracy theories and spoke at a white nationalist rally, Mr. McCarthy refused to punish her and often refrained from even criticizing her comments until pressed by reporters. It was a calculated choice by Mr. McCarthy, who leads more by flattery and backslapping than through discipline.

What an image. The NYT makes KMac’s caucus sound like Cheers with him as a skinny Norm placating MTG who’s Cliff Clavin in a frock. In the immortal words of the original Cliff:

That Clavinism applies to the tone of the whole fakakta article. It’s a love letter to KMac and MTG. It shows what happens when someone with strong beliefs collides with someone who believes in nothing. That goes for Jonathan Swan-Swine too. Access journalism is his jam. I guess this makes him Marge’s Maggie Haberman. Oy, just oy.

Freak shows usually had a ringmaster or MC in charge of the proceedings. The inmates run the House GOP Freak Show. Marge Taylor Greene is looking more and more like the bull goose freak. She’s even become the Talented Mr. Santos’ work auntie. I almost said work wife, but her heart belongs to KMac. She’s his funny valentine, after all.

The last word goes to Chet Baker:


One thought on “KMac’s Funny Valentine

  1. My dad and I were just talking about KMac. He reminded me about KMac’s last attempt to become Speaker, and how it was sunk by him carrying on an affair with a fellow Congresscritter from Washington state. Looks like he’s got himself a habit.
    Also, ew, can you imagine? You’d think a Congressman would have more self-respect than a rutting idiot dog (but I repeat myself).

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