Malaka Of The Week: Alice Cooper

In 1976, Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull wrote a song that describes the mess this week’s “honoree” has gotten himself into: Too Old To Rock To Rock ‘n’ Roll, Too Young To Die. Anderson was 29 at the time. Anderson’s rock and roll peer Vincent Furnier DBA Alice Cooper is 75. He recently put his foot so deeply in his mouth that it’s still lodged there. And that is why Alice Cooper is malaka of the week.

Alice Cooper was a big deal in the 1970’s playing theatrical glam rock. He wore drag queen style makeup onstage but was eager for everyone to know he was a regular guy who drank beer and played golf. I always thought he was a poser whose pose made him a wealthy man. Alice Cooper is all about the money.

Now he’s a poser whose big mouth has cost him a lucrative endorsement:

“I’m understanding that there are cases of transgender, but I’m afraid that it’s also a fad, and I’m afraid there’s a lot of people claiming to be this just because they want to be that,” he replied. “I find it wrong when you’ve got a six-year-old kid who has no idea. He just wants to play, and you’re confusing him telling him, ‘Yeah, you’re a boy, but you could be a girl if you want to be.’”

“I think that’s so confusing to a kid,” he continued. “It’s even confusing to a teenager. You’re still trying to find your identity, and yet here’s this thing going on, saying, ‘Yeah, but you can be anything you want. You can be a cat if you want to be.’ I mean, if you identify as a tree… And I’m going, ‘Come on! What are we in, a Kurt Vonnegut novel?’ It’s so absurd, that it’s gone now to the point of absurdity.”

“So I say let somebody at least become sexually aware of who they are before they start thinking about if they’re a boy or a girl. A lot of times, I look at it this way, the logical way: If you have these genitals, you’re a boy. If you have those genitals, you’re a girl.”

Alice Cooper not only has a dick, he is one. There’s more to gender identity than show-and-tell or peek-a-boo. Instead, the man with a chick’s name went on to spout the most hateful and ignorant transgender meme: the bathroom predator myth. According to Malaka Alice, trans folks go to public terlets to prey, not pee. The malakatude, it burns.

To quote the poser himself he’s thrown himself:

That’s the glam rock version of throwing someone under the bus; either way it’s messy and painful.

You would have hoped that a guy who made his fame and fortune wearing slabs of makeup would be more tolerant. But he’s not alone in his glam rock bigotry: Paul Stanley of Kiss and Twisted Sister front man Dee Snider have made similar comments. They’re guilty of something much worse than making bad music, ignorant intolerance. That should be the name of Malaka Alice’s next backing band. He already stole the name of his first group.

I was never prejudiced against transgender people but I’d never known one well until I met the late Morwen Madrigal after Katrina. She was one of the OG NOLA bloggers and my friend. I learned a lot about people who had transitioned from Morwen. Alice Cooper derides it as a fad, it is not. For Morwen it was an imperative. Would she have damaged her relationship with her family just to keep up with a fad? Hell no. She was always Morwen, not David. I admired her for her grit and courage in the face of bigotry and intolerance. She was not just transgender; she was a broad.

I’m glad that Alice Cooper lost his deal with a company that specializes in goth makeup, Vampyre Cosmetics. I hope he enjoys being praised by homophobes and Trumpers but this damn fool interview cost him what really matters to him, money and attention. And that is why Vincent Furnier DBA Alice Cooper is malaka of the week.

Let’s circle back to the beginning of the post. The last word goes to Jethro Tull:

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