Hypocrisy is the essence of malakatude. It’s particularly prevalent among those who yell the loudest about woke public schools. And that is why Clarice Schillinger is malaka of the week.

As you can see from the featured image, Schillinger is an early Trumper with low friends in high places. I have a question about the picture: Where’s Trump’s other hand? It looks as if it may be on her butt, which is tame by his  standards. Bottoms up. If you’re confused by that boozy reference, stay tuned.

Malaka Clarice’s hypocrisy is minor compared to the Florida swinger lady’s. It’s also funnier. I give you an extended excerpt from the Philadelphia  Inquirer story about the action at Casa Clarice:

“A former GOP candidate for Pennsylvania lieutenant governor and leader of a political action committee that fueled conservative opposition to school boards has been charged with assault after allegedly punching a teenager at a boozy birthday party she threw for her 17-year-old daughter.

Multiple teenagers were assaulted by intoxicated adults during the Sept. 29 party at Clarice Schillinger’s Doylestown home, according to a police affidavit. Police say that Schillinger’s intoxicated boyfriend punched one teen in the face and assaulted another. That teen also was punched in the eye by Schillinger’s intoxicated mother, who also chased that teen around the kitchen, the affidavit said.

As teenagers tried to leave the home on Liz Circle, Schillinger — who police said had supplied the more than 15 minors at the party with a basement bar stocked with vodka and rum, played beer pong with them and encouraged them to take shots with her — ordered them to stay.

She then punched one young man in the face three times, according to the affidavit, which said video footage showed Schillinger lunging toward a group of teenagers in the foyer and having to be restrained.

Police charged Schillinger on Oct. 26 with simple assault, harassment, and providing alcohol to minors. The charges were first reported Thursday by the Bucks County Courier Times.”

The headline describes it as a “boozy Bucks party.” I’m calling it a boozy Bucks birthday bash. FYI, that’s Bucks County, not the Milwaukee Bucks or the woodland critter.

I have two more variations on the headline:

MAGA maggot bops boy at boozy Bucks birthday bash.

MAGA maggot beats on brat at boozy Bucks birthday bash.

It’s time for our first musical interlude of 2024:

Trivia Time: Guitarist John Cummings DBA Johnny Ramone was a wingnut who would have surely joined in the boozy birthday bash boy bopping if he hadn’t died in 2004. As the old blues song goes:

That completes my first manic digression of 2024. To paraphrase Jimi Hendrix, manic digression is a frustrating mess. That goes for Malaka Clarice’s boozy Bucks birthday bash as well. Bottoms up.

Three lessons can be learned from the boy bopping at the boozy Bucks birthday bash:

1. It’s okay to serve booze to minors if you’re a MAGA maggot.
2. It’s okay to play beer pong with minors if you’re a MAGA maggot.
3. It’s okay to get shitfaced but not to attend a drag queen story hour if you’re a MAGA maggot.

The drunken malakatude, it burns. Bottoms up.

The only think that would have made this story funnier is if Rudy Giuliani had attended the party. He’s the booziest MAGA maggot of them all. He would have enjoyed boy bopping and playing beer pong with the head of Back To School, PA PAC. I bet their board meetings are fun. In fact, the guy who hired Malaka Clarice and put up the bucks for the PAC’s last name is Martino. Gin or vodka? Olive or onion? Gin, no olive for me. Bottoms up.

Exposing hypocrisy on the far right is my jam. Most of it isn’t as hilarious as the boy bopping at the boozy Bucks birthday bash. I’m just relieved that there was no book burning at the boozy Bucks bash.

Thanks to Josh Marshall for sharing the boozy Bucks birthday bash story with a national audience. I get some of my best ideas from the good people at Talking Points Memo. My world is a richer place thanks to them. This is a helluva way to start 2024. And that is why Clarice Schillinger is malaka of the week.

I got through this entire post without a single Silence Of The Lambs reference until now: Pass the chianti and fava beans, Clarice. Bottoms up.

The last word goes to Illinois Jacquet: