If you thought I was cranky before my recent illness, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Did I just quote a lousy movie? That’s right, the first talkie The Jazz Singer is a real stinker but it’s a famous first. We don’t have any famous firsts in this month’s rogue’s gallery, but we begin with a United States Senator who kneecapped her own career.

I’m irked that I won’t have the Sinematic Senator to kick around anymore. But I’m not irked that I let Cassandra take the first final whack at her. Dubbing Sinema Veda Pierce was a highpoint in my life as a nickname bestower or is that nicknamer?

There was always something adolescent and bratty about the Sinematic Senator even though Willard Mittbot Romney and The Man Of Le Manchin tried to make her look more dignified. The three senators have something else in common: none of them is running for reelection but only Romney had a shot at winning.

Here’s a song about Veda Pierce’s mama be it Joan Crawford or Kate Winslet:

I’m irked by Katie Porter’s tacky-n-Trumpy response to her defeat in the California senate primary. Here’s how I put it on the Tweeter Tube:

I've lost a lot of respect for Katie Porter. She lost to a better known and financed candidate. The Trump trials were always going to help Adam Schiff. Katie should learn from Barbara Lee's example and stop whining about election rigging like a Trumper.

— Shecky (@Adrastosno) March 7, 2024

There’s nothing worse than a sore loser, especially one who uses the R word, RIGGED. And I thought Katie was a tough broad like her mentor Senator Professor Elizabeth Warren. Instead, she’s a whiny loser like the Kaiser of Chaos; a comparison no Democrat should wish to invite.

Another Katie had an irksome week as well. Alabama Senator Katie Britt’s SOTU response was reviled for its staging and, more importantly, for the whopper she told about human trafficking. It was so egregious that it received 4 Pinocchios from the WaPo. Britt has managed a difficult feat; making Senator Coach Tuberville look less bad. Nobody can make that stupid mook look good…

Their shared horrible week has me thinking of Porter and Britt as the Two Katies. That’s why they share an outro tune by BNL:

I’m irked that Mike Johnson was such a weirdo during the SOTU. Past Speakers applauded presidents of another party when they made universally popular points. Instead, Johnson applauded under the table during the speech and rolled his eyes on camera. Once again, Mike stepped all over his Johnson.

Unlike this swell Dwight Yoakam song, Johnson’s love was hard to find last Thursday evening:

I’m irked that past malaka of the week Congressman Doctor Ronnie Jackson still calls himself an Admiral when he was demoted to Captain for running  a pill mill at the Trump White House. He’s no longer an unadmirable admiral, just a creepy captain.

Jackson is an Aggie, so I wonder if he ever pulled on a ram’s ear like Macca or did something even nastier.

Finally, I’m irked that everyone seems to have forgotten that Traitors‘ traitor Phaedra Parks is a horrible human being. Sure, she’s a meme machine but she was fired from The Real Housewives Of Atlanta for accusing Kandi Burruss and Todd Tucker of using date rape drugs to force Porscha Williams into having a threesome.

Almost as bad as the specious rape allegations was the way Parks manipulated Williams into pushing the story. Williams looked up to Parks and considered her a role model. Instead, Parks is a lying sack of shit who should be shamed instead of lauded for her undeniable wit.

The last word goes to Jimmy Reed followed by Bryan Ferry:

Update: I’m irked that I missed a Steely Dan reference in the Britt segment: Katie Lied, then consulted with Dr. Wu.