I was wrong when I wrote this about the Jeff Landry national anthem mishigas last week:

“The Gret Stet of Louisiana is sports mad. The Clownfish just revealed that he’s as ignorant of LSU sports as he is of everything else. I expect to see some crawfishing on this point.

I was raised to look before I leap. Apparently, The Clownfish was not. I expect him to blame his staff any time now.”

Instead, Landry went all in on his trollery:

“Landry doubled down on his demagoguery Thursday in a letter (read below) to the chairs of all four Louisiana public college and university systems. In it, he urged them to require that student-athletes stand tall for the anthem or lose their full ride. 

It’s a level of obtuse not seen at LSU since former football coach Ed Orgeron stumbled and fumbled his way through his team’s response to the Black Lives Matter movement. 

LSU women’s basketball coach Kim Mulkey attributed the team’s absence to its normal pregame routine. She had no idea when the anthem was being played. 

Just like the men’s basketball team, Mulkey’s squad has never been on the court for the anthem. Same for the LSU football team for as long as anyone remembers. 

Even the Army football team — yes, the cadets of West Point — stayed in their locker room when the Golden Band from Tigerland played the “Star-Spangled Banner” before their game at Tiger Stadium in October.    

Yet no one seemed to notice any of this until Landry went red, white and bonkers this week.”

That quote comes from an excellent opinion piece by Louisiana Illuminator honcho Greg Larose. I may steal the phrase red, white, and bonkers. Consider yourself forewarned, Greg. I stole The Clownfish from Clancy DuBos, after all. I only steal from the best.

I underestimated The Clownfish’s need for the spotlight. Like all wannabe dictators and immature children, Landry needs constant attention. What happens when he doesn’t receive it? He soils himself as he did with this idiotic incident. I wonder if David Vitter is available to change The Clownfish’s diaper.

The post title was inspired by this 2020 Picayune headline:

It was one of the best teams of the Payton-Brees era. It looked as if the Saints were headed for the Super Bowl. Instead, we had to settle for satire: the Krewe du Vieux sub-krewe of Drips and Discharges mocked the refs for turning the Superdome into a crime scene.

I was quoted in a Picvocate article about the mockery. End of humble brag.

Back to the present day and the Gret Stet’s Jeffing Unbelievable Governor.

This is the last time I will ever assume The Clownfish will crawfish from an outrageous culture war position. I wrongly thought he would back down and blame poor staff work because the LSU coach in question, Kim Mulkey, is a fellow wingnut. I call her Bobby Knight in sequins.

Jeff Landry only cares about himself. Besides, in the immortal words of Gen. Russell Honoré, he’s:

The last word goes to Ella Fitzgerald with a Rodgers and Hammerstein song:

Jeff Landry is not a gentleman. He certainly *is* a dope.

Repeat after me: The Governor is a dope.