The Tories have ruled the United Kingdom since 2010. They used to have a reputation as competent managers but then came the Brexit catastrophe followed by the COVID catastrophe. Rishi Sunak is the latest in a long line of failed PMs: David Cameron, Theresa May, Boris Johnson, and Liz Truss; three of whom were crowned malaka of the week. Rishi Sunak is also likely to be the last Tory PM of the 2020’s. It’s about fucking time.
The featured image depicts the aftermath of a speech Rishi Sunak gave to announce the 2024 general election. His timing was awful: It was pouring buckets; plus, the election is slated for July 4th, which is a glorious day in American history but not so great for Great Britain. Mad King George weeps.
Margaret Thatcher used to call moderates in her party wets. Rishi Sunak is not exactly moderate but he’s certainly all wet as well as nearly drowned out by heckler music. Check out this video:
That reminds me of this scene from The Producers:
Now that I think of it, The Producers and the Brexit campaign have much in common. David Cameron called the referendum thinking Brexit had no chance of winning. It was a scam akin to Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder bilking investors for a play guaranteed to fail. That’s where the analogy breaks down: Springtime For Hitler was a hit whereas Brexit passed but has been an epic fail. Like Gene Wilder in the clip, Rishi Sunak is wet. He may be hysterical on July 4th when his own seat in Parliament could be lost as well as the election.
A record 77 Conservative MPs are not running for re-election. The previous high was 72 in 1997, which was the year of the landslide Labour victory that led to 13 years in power. The exiting MPs don’t want to suffer the ignominy of a Portillo Moment:
The candidate with egg all over his face was Thatcher favorite Michael Portillo who was the frontrunner to replace John Major as Tory leader after the election loss. Oopsie.
Sunak’s campaign is off to such a bad start that Guardian columnist Zoe Williams posed this question: Is Rishi Sunak Actively Trying To Lose The Election?
One of Rishi Sunak’s first campaign stops was to the Titanic District in Belfast. I am not making this up.
Nothing has gone right for Rishi Sunak since moving into 10 Downing Street. The joint seems cursed by the Boris era and Truss mini-era
Labour Party leader Keir Starmer is a solid and sensible chap who many in the political press call boring. He reminds me a bit of solid and sensible Al Gore with whom none of the punditocracy wanted to have a beer with in 2000. Fortunately for Starmer, the voters are exhausted after fourteen years of Tory misrule. They’re ready for a change with a normie as Prime Minister.
The 2019 British general election resulted in a landslide victory for the Conservative Party because then Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn was so unpopular. In normal times, it would take Labour at least 2 election cycles to recover. There are not normal times: like Donald Trump in America, Boris Johnson unleashed a wave of right wing nuttiness in the UK. Shorter Adrastos: The Tory party has been Trumpified.
Like many American Democrats, I consider Labour our sister party. Unfortunately, they keep having to relearn the same lesson: the British people won’t elect Labour when it’s led by someone on the hard left. The elections of 1984 and 2019 have proven that point. The British voters are liberal at heart but hate extremism. That’s why Harold Wilson and Tony Blair are the only Labour leaders to win more than one election. Solid and sensible Keir Starmer fits the bill.
Don’t cry for Rishi Sunak. He has more money than God, so he can always buy a small island and bugger off there.
I look forward to watching the election returns on July 4th, which will be Independence Day in the UK as well. They’ll be free of 14 years of austerity and stupid Prime Ministerial tricks.
Repeat after me: Rishi Sunak Is All Wet.
The last word goes to Steely Dan. Just change Rikki to Rishi and Bob’s your uncle. I’m still vague on the meaning of that Britism, but it scans.