The big story in the Gret Stet of Louisiana is a new law requiring that the Ten Commandments be posted in classrooms. By my reckoning, there are five or six versions of the ten. Which one will be posted? It turns out to be the commandments written for the 1956 Cecil B. DeMille movie starring Charlton Heston, Yul Brynner, Anne Baxter, Edward G Robinson, and Yvonne DeCarlo. I am not making this up.
Thus spake Charlton Heston as Moses:
I know that’s not speaking, it’s gesturing. I’m just caught up in the biblical spirt. In fact, that Heston pose reminds me of this Nixon gesture:
I’m an atheist so I don’t have a dog in this fight, but I take a dim view of cramming religion down anyone’s throats. So does the Constitution but with the current SCOTUS all bets are off as to what they’ll do with the Clownfish Commandments if and when the inevitable lawsuit inevitably reaches them.
The Clownfish DBA Gov. Jeff Landry is behind this terrible bill. It just occurred to me that he should have his own Ten Commandments. It’s what DeMille and Heston would want. Never argue with them
The Clownfish Commandments:
1. Thou shalt always troll. Owning the libs is godly.
2. Thou shalt empty death row. It’s execution time.
3. Thou shalt not wear masks except for Mardi Gras.
4. Thou shalt lie like the Clownfish, the Kaiser of Chaos, and MAGA Mike.
5. Thou shalt hold sacred the word of our messiah Donald Trump.
6. Thou shalt not teach Black history except as handed down by the holy lost causers.
7. Thou shalt not read books banned by school boards.
8. Thou shalt bow down in awe of the petro-chemical industry.
9. Thou shalt not heed false idols who believe in climate change.
10. Thou shalt not take the name of the Clownfish in vain.
Thus spake Jeff Landry when he came down from the mountain top with the tablets containing The Clownfish Commandments. Where in the Gret Stet he found a mountain top is a mystery only revealed to the GOP holy trinity of Trump, Johnson, and Landry.
I suspect that the Clownfish and his fellow fake holy Joes will consider my commandments blasphemous. I’m a non-believer. How can I blaspheme?
The last word goes to the Neville Brothers:
I agree. What about the book about banning books that was banned in, I believe, Florida? The next thing is a mandatory crucifix on a everyone’s forehead.