An old friend reached out to me yesterday evening, and we had quite an online chat that eventually evolved into a phone call. He’s in Pennsylvania also.

The expression of stress I shared on Facebook was what sparked it. He was both a bit worried, and he also related. This is a political blog and not a personal stress-sharing blog, so won’t get too much into it. But for this post’s sake, I will not go too deep other than to say that currently my wife and I’s life is an overwhelming mix of very demanding jobs, an insane situation with my oldest sibling’s guardianship (he is incapacitated with a complicated set of affairs to manage in two countries), family health issues, an old house that is deciding now is the time to drop problems on us, and a few other things that are so stressful that the short vacation my wife I took pretty much was spent in a state of never-ending anxiety to the point where I couldn’t relax.

My friend is dealing with a similar situation and during our conversation, Trump and the election came up. Both of our situations and the fact that we live in Pennsylvania are relevant because if you are going through a stressful point in your life and care about our nation’s future, this is Hell Time.

For having stress on a “local” or personal level is no longer enough in these times. We have a very serious threat to our very democracy, and a presidential candidate making no bones about the fact that there will be suffering if he is elected. Add to that, my friend and I live in Pennsylvania, and the Keystone State is a battleground state. In fact, we are THE battleground state. Winning Pennsylvania is vital for the election. And that means non-stop political ads.

Given this is an election involving Donald Trump, the Republican commercials are awful. So bad that if you are not in a battleground state and are thinking “Yeah but we have ridiculous election commercials here too” please know that my response is giving you a pat on the cheek, and if you think that’s being condescending, be thankful that pat is not a hard slap. You, my friend, have no idea.

The ads are 30-second hatefests, aimed at transpeople, immigrants, Kamala Harris herself, and so on. And they are relentless and beyond ugly. They perfectly complement what Trump is saying at his rallies and in interviews. Trump has suggested that Americans who don’t support him are “enemies” and should be “handled by the military.” He is openly racist in a way that would be shocking in the 1950s. He freely talks about deporting 10-20 million immigrants, which would be a horror never seen in this country. He says he will enable police to do what they want to criminal suspects and political opponents. He makes no bones about his desire to be an authoritarian dictator. His speeches are rambling, incoherent revenge fantasies often sounding like the ranting of a man whose brain is wracked by dementia. The problem is that he also has a crew of true believers ready and willing to carry out these fantasies.

My friend is gay and in a same-sex marriage. Far-right conservatives, including the worst of the Supreme Court, are pretty open about ending same-sex marriage. So, my friend’s fear that his marriage is in trouble is not a silly overreaction. His anxiety is not “bedwetting” or any of the other dismissive terms for people who are deeply worried right now. Such mockery of people with real anxiety right now is often done by people who are not in groups directly threatened by Trump and his supporters, an unfortunate demonstration of a lack of empathy.

Especially for those of us living in Pennsylvania. As my friend said, you can’t even relax by watching a sporting event or a favorite show without being deluged by Trumpy hatefests. They are constant reminders that a monster has a realistic chance of winning and taking our nation down into a very dark place.

Both of us are active politically. We volunteer, we donate, and we’ve already voted. We do what we can because it’s necessary. The race is extremely close and we need to help Harris and the other Democrats win. Doing the work also is therapy. But the idea that the races are so close, that the horrifying commercials, the violent rally rhetoric, and the sheer mean-spirited stupidity of it all are not enough to disqualify Trump, is depressing in and of itself.

I will close by saying that I do believe Harris will win. This is of some comfort, even if there is a good chance there will again be some form of violence if Harris wins.

But I admit I miss the days when politics were not an additional source of anxiety during stressful life moments. The current moment really makes me envy people in Mississippi or California, who do not have a firehose of hate commercials opened up on them every time they turn on their TV.

The last word goes to Green Day.