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The Bro Vote & Arnold Palmer’s Schlong

The presidential candidates are both going after the bro vote. Kamala Harris was a guest on The Howard Stern Show 11 days ago, which drove the Insult Comedian nuts. Trump has done Howard’s show many times, and for all the bullshit about him being a Florida Man, is a New Yorker to the core. And nobody’s more of a New Yorker than Howard Stern.

The Insult Comedian went off on Stern on his scam social media site:

In his advanced state of cognitive decline, Donald used a mixed metaphor: You don’t “hit” softball questions, you toss, pitch, lob, or throw them.

Trump used to love Howard until he became a candidate for office. That ended in 2016 when Stern supported Hillary Clinton. Stern may be a bro, but’s a liberal bro who, along with his wife, Beth runs a cat rescue. I didn’t figure him for a cat guy until I saw Beth appear on an episode of Beat Bobby Flay. The celebrity chef is also a cat person, which means that the Kaiser of Chaos hates the whole kitty and kaboodle.

Trump’s latest bit of verbal diarrhea happened last Saturday at a rally in Latrobe, PA, the hometown of golfing legend Arnold Palmer. Palmer was the first golfer to become a pop culture icon. He was followed around by what was called Arnie’s Army and had a drink named after him, which is a tasty concoction of iced tea and lemonade.

Palmer even went into the business of franchising dry cleaning centers:

The chain no longer exists, but many of the outlets remain in business. I couldn’t find any that still have Arnie’s name on them, but this is an example of how big Arnold Palmer once was. It turns out that he was big in another way:

You cannot make this shit up.

On what planet is joking about Arnold Palmer’s schlong presidential? All it proves is that Trump is a putz, schmeckle, schmuck, and schlong himself. Why is all the best slang for penis Yiddish? Discuss amongst yourselves.

The reference to Arnold Palmer’s junk baffled social media. No one under 50 has a clue who Arnie was. It’s another sign of Trump’s disinhibition, which is when the elderly say things not normally said in normal company. Ain’t nothing normal about the Kaiser of Chaos.

He said this at the same rally:

It takes a shit official to know one or some such shit. Again, is this language presidential? We all know that LBJ, Nixon, Clinton, and even Biden used salty language in private but none of them talked shit in public. It’s a shitty thing to do but he’s a shitty person. One could even say he used latrine language in Latrobe.

The Twitterati were aghast over this Politico headline about the Latrobe rally:

This headline led to hot takes that the media ignored the Palmer putz comment. I googled it the next day and there were dozens of stories about the Palmer schlong remark:

The WaPo: Donald Trump fixates on Arnold Palmer as “all man” in showers during profane rally.

The AP: Trump kicks off a Pennsylvania rally by talking about Arnold Palmer’s genitalia.

The Gray Lady was of course more indirect BUT they quoted Trump’s cock talk in the body of the story:

At A Pennsylvania Rally, Trump Descends To New Levels Of Vulgarity.

This was gross enough to turn off the NYT’s Michael Gold who has filed many “Trump is normal” stories. A reminder that Graydon Carter and Kurt Andersen called Trump “the short-fingered vulgarian” during Spy Magazine’s Eighties heyday. I found this cool cover in the course of my research:

Back to the bro vote. Because of his relentless locker room talk, Trump leads among bros. Harris is trying to cut into his lead with these knuckle dragging ninnies. Her team is even in negotiations for her to appear on Joe Rogan’s podcast. I have no problem with that: he can’t be worse than Fox’s Bret Baier. Baier is more of a dweeb than a bro but she put him in his place, which led to an apology for using a sanitized Trump clip instead of him lambasting the so-called enemies of the people. Was the apology sincere? Beats the hell out of me.

It’s a pity that the Veep is facing hostility from the bros. It’s obvious why: sexism. Team Trump increasingly relies on overt racism, bigotry, and misogyny in its messaging. This is not calculated to win over swing voters. Of course, Arnold Palmer had a helluva swing as well as a big dick.

After all this schlong talk, the only way to sign off is to say so long.

The last word goes to Fats Domino:

 

2 thoughts on “The Bro Vote & Arnold Palmer’s Schlong”

  1. When Trump loses and after we win the Second Civil War, how can we ever hope to quell what Trumpism loosed on us? A scary-large percentage of the country has the mentality of adolescent boys laughing at dick jokes and screaming, “stick it to the man!” But, these are adult men and women who ARE “the man” and have to be relied on to raise families, have jobs, pay taxes, run businesses, operate the government, grow older, collect their Medicare/SS, and keep the country chugging along! I don’t imagine that people will snap out of it. If they come out of it slowly will we have a period of deep national depression during which people will seek the next charismatic cult leader and we’ll be worse off?! Just askin’!

    1. I’m not sure how deep Trumpism runs and how long it will last. I do know that when he’s issued calls for protests outside his various court appearances almost nobody came, including in Florida.

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