Mitch McConnell has received some undeserved praise for voting against Horseshoe Person Tulsi Gabbard. He already voted against Dirty Hands Hegseth and is likely to vote against Bobby Junior.

Having said that, I’m gobsmacked by this comment made on CNN by Democratic Senator Richard Blumenthal after the Gabbard vote:

“I think Senator McConnell is starting a new career and an admirable one, voting his conscience and standing strong for the civil rights and liberties of this country.”

Say what?

Blumenthal may have a short memory, but I do not. Neither does Slate’s Fred Kaplan who wrote a scathing piece about Mitch’s malefactions. Two votes aren’t enough to wash away his manifold sins.

What follows is a post that was published on 10/28/2024 when a Trump victory was just a possibility. Thanks in large part to the Turtle, he’s back and worse than ever.

The only change made to the original post was the featured image, which showed McConnell glowering at the Insult Comedian. We’re trying our best to avoid Trump pictures at First Draft, hence this more recent featured image.

Update: The Turtle did vote against Bobby Junior. He can still go fuck himself.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: If Mitch McConnell’s backbone wasn’t as weak as his chin, Donald Trump would be barred from running for office. He hates Trump, blamed him for the Dipshit Insurrection, but refused to vote to convict at Trump’s second impeachment trial. That vote would have led other Senate Republicans who hated Trump to vote against him. Instead, they put party over country and voted to acquit.

Blame it on Mitch.

There’s a new book by Michael Tackett about McConnell. It could be called The Cowardly Turtle. It’s titled The Price Of Power: How Mitch McConnell Mastered The Senate, Changed Politics, and Lost His Party. Why do all books about modern politics have such long-winded titles? Give me a short and snappy title any day.

Here’s another alternate title, Mitch McConnell: Kentucky Fried Coward. I can even suggest this Michael F image as a cover illustration:

Tackett’s title is too long but it’s apt, power is all Mitch McConnell cares about. The Senate GOP leader cooperated with the author and helped to write his own epitaph: Blame it on Mitch.

The quotes have been all over the internet. Since Michael Tackett is an AP guy, we’ll use their story:

“Mitch McConnell said after the 2020 election that then-President Donald Trump was “stupid as well as being ill-tempered,” a “despicable human being” and a “narcissist,” according to excerpts from a new biography of the Senate Republican leader that will be released this month.

Privately, he said in his oral history that “it’s not just the Democrats who are counting the days” until Trump left office, and that Trump’s behavior “only underscores the good judgment of the American people. They’ve had just enough of the misrepresentations, the outright lies almost on a daily basis, and they fired him.”

“And for a narcissist like him,” McConnell continued, “that’s been really hard to take, and so his behavior since the election has been even worse, by far, than it was before, because he has no filter now at all.”

Before those Georgia runoffs, McConnell said Trump is “stupid as well as being ill-tempered and can’t even figure out where his own best interests lie.”

Trump was also holding up a coronavirus aid package at the time, despite bipartisan support. “This despicable human being,” McConnell said in his oral history, “is sitting on this package of relief that the American people desperately need.”

The Cowardly Turtle has also called Trump a sleazeball. When I call someone a sleazeball, I mean it and wouldn’t support them to be POTUS, Commander-in-Chief or dogcatcher. Do they still elect dogcatchers anywhere? That used to be a thing as well as an epithet. I have an epithet for the Kentucky Fried Coward: Blame it on Mitch.

McConnell’s response to questions about why he’s supporting a narcissistic sleazeball is simultaneously tepid and revealing:

“Whatever I may have said about President Trump pales in comparison to what JD Vance, Lindsey Graham, and others have said about him, but we are all on the same team now.” 

Shorter Turtle: At least I haven’t compared him to Hitler.

He did, however, have the nerve to issue a joint statement with MAGA Mike attacking Vice President Harris for calling Trump a fascist. Telling the truth has never been the Cowardly Turtle’s strong suit.

Blame it on Mitch.

I have a song in mind for the Turtle to sing in the musical playing in my head:

Why a Del Amitri break up song? Del Amitri are a Scottish band and McConnell is Scots Irish. He should have broken up with Trump in 2021 and saved the country all this angst and agita.

Blame it on Mitch.

While we’re musical interluding, I might as well let my homey Antoine Domino chime in:

I’m just getting warmed up with blaming Mitch. He’s also responsible for the Dobbs decision overruling Roe v. Wade.

In 2016, he blocked President Obama’s nomination of Merrick Garland to SCOTUS claiming that it was inappropriate to add a justice in an election year.

In 2020, he flip flopped and pushed through the appointment of Amy Coney Barrett to give Sam the Sham Alito his right-wing super majority. Since then, SCOTUS has destroyed its reputation and run amuck issuing crazy decision after crazy decision.

Don’t call them conservatives: Blame it on Mitch.

Then there’s Mitch McConnell’s ruination of the institution he claims to revere above all else: the United States Senate. He’s the one who brought us cloture votes on purt near every vote facing the Senate. He blames others for this anti-democratic move but he should look in the mirror and cringe when he sees this:

Mitch McConnell is an ugly man with an ugly agenda who turns on a dime when it suits his purposes. He’s the hack’s hack who has wreaked havoc on our country and its institutions. He’s also the craven coward who brought us a third Trump campaign and led the charge to take away the right to choose. I hope he’s happy with what’s happening in Texas and other red states. There’s blood on his hands.

In summary: Mitch McConnell has ruined the Republican Party, the Supreme Court, and the United States Senate. That’s a trifecta of failure for a guy who’s a hero to the idiots of the inside the beltway newsletter set. They can all go fuck themselves.

Blame it on Mitch.

The last word goes to Elvis Costello: