Two strong men met in Anchorage, Alaska last Friday. Before the meeting, the American strong man was campaigning for a Nobel Peace Prize. The Russian strong man had other ideas. He had a plan and stuck to it. The stronger strong man won; once again, Putin pantsed President Pennywise.

The accused war criminal not only pantsed the convicted felon, he stuffed him in a locker, then gave him a vodka swirly. It was that bad. It was also:

Like an ingenue in a bad old movie, the Insult Comedian swoons every time he’s in the Putinic presence and begins babbling about the “Russia, Russia, Russia hoax” in case we’d forgotten about it. Thanks, Donald.

If only the Trump presidency were a hoax instead of a bad joke.

The meeting was such a flop that even the NYT’s Peter Baker derided it:

On the flight to Alaska, President Trump declared that if he did not secure a cease-fire in Ukraine during talks with President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia, “I’m not going to be happy,” and there would be “severe consequences.”

 

Just hours later, he got back on Air Force One and departed Alaska without the cease-fire he deemed so critical. Yet he had imposed no consequences, and had pronounced himself so happy with how things went with Mr. Putin that he said “the meeting was a 10.”

Delusions are no substitute for policy. Putin stuck to his guns and Trump crumbled like a Kourabiedes. That’s a buttery, crumbly Greek cookie that my mom used as an analogy for weakness. If she called me a Kourabiedes, I knew I was in deep shit and sinking fast. I at least recognized that the sinking feeling was real whereas the Kaiser of Chaos is lying his way through it.

President Pennywise’s demeanor before, during, and after the meeting was deferential and downright obsequious. He rolled out the red carpet, gave Putin a ride in his limo, and let him go first at the press postmortem after the failed meeting. The host usually goes first. Perhaps Trump forgot about Seward’s so-called Folly in buying Alaska and thought he was in Russia, Russia, Russia. Schmuck, schmuck, schmuck.

I hesitate to call this meeting a summit. It was a low point in the history of American diplomacy. It will only get worse as Trump seems poised to sell out Ukraine after caving to a manlier man. The bigger bully won out in the end. The MAGA malakatude, it burns.

Let’s talk Trump nicknames. I have a hierarchy of them, at the top is the OG, the Insult Comedian. The Kaiser of Chaos is next; I’ve used it frequently during Trump 2.0 for obvious reasons. President Pennywise comes third but alliteration is my jam, so it’s in the title. I test drove the Queens Kourabiedes as a nickname but dropped it because it involved repetitive exposition. That’s how the cookie crumbles…

I was sorely tempted to suspend my no Trump pictures on the home page policy, but the Putin pix are funnier; more sinister as well. The bloodthirsty Russian dictator will dine out on this shot of him riding in “the beast” with the bozo:

Here’s my caption: The Bozo Gives The Beast A Free Ride In The Beast.

During the 2024 campaign, Trump bragged that he could solve the Russia-Ukraine war on day one. Nothing is that easy. It is now day 209 and there’s no solution in sight other than appeasing Putin and selling out Zelensky. So much for Trump’s Nobel Peace Prize. I was worried that the Swedes would try to prove that they have a sense of humor by giving him one.

Trump will be meeting with Zelensky and key European allies at the White House this afternoon. Here’s hoping that Starmer, Macron, and Merz’s presence will prevent it from turning out like the Ukrainian’s last visit to the Oval Office. Stay tuned.

The last word goes to Jethro Tull: