I rarely struggle with post titles. I did with this one. This list is NOT about songs actually played at MAGA rallies. I’ve done that already with The Cease & Desist Top Ten List. It’s about songs that reflect the reality of this mad movement. I originally had “keeping it real” in the title; I’m keeping it in the post. MAGA maggots never keep it real: It’s a movement based on lies.
I doubt that any of these artists would sanction their music being played at a MAGA rally: several of them are openly hostile to the Trump regime and all it stands for. I suspect they’d be pleased to be on a list in which mockery of MAGA maggots is mandatory.
I’ve avoided reusing songs that I’ve used in the past. For example, I’ve used Two Little Hitlers and Tin Foil Hat as last words more than once. I’m trying to keep it fresh while keeping it real. Ya feel me?
The featured image comes from a 2020 MAGA rally. It captures the frenzy without showing the Insult Comedian. The ban on Trump featured images remains in effect.
On with the show, this is it.
NUMBER TEN: Peter Frampton opened his New Orleans show with this song that tells the truth about lying.
NUMBER NINE: MAGA crowds are full of wannabe thugs and fake tough guys. Does that make them tragically unhip? Discuss amongst yourselves.
NUMBER EIGHT: In addition to thugs, MAGA rallies are full of bullies looking for patsies or some such shit.
NUMBER SEVEN: MAGA maggots love to troll. Their dear leader is the biggest troll of all. His post-No Kings Day AI video was beyond irksome; it was icky enough to piss off yacht rocker Kenny Loggins. This is not the song used in that vile video: Trolls are cowardly and avoid danger zones.
NUMBER SIX: This Zappa classic could be about President Pennywise or Speaker Yellowbelly. In 2025, there are indeed Nazis in Congress. Plus, Donald is the idiot son of Fred Trump who was a major bastard.
NUMBER FIVE: American Idiot was written during the Bush-Cheney administration, but it still applies. Who’s a bigger idiot than Trump? Only an idiot would think that looking like The Joker is anything but grotesque.
NUMBER FOUR: Peter Tosh was not predicting the future when he wrote Maga Dog in 1965. It’s Jamaican slang for a skinny street dog or mongrel. What’s not to love about a title that pairs Trump’s favorite acronym with an animal he despises?
NUMBER THREE: The Insult Comedian never shuts the fuck up. Who among us hasn’t wanted to scream this at that stupid motherfucker?
NUMBER TWO: As a wannabe King, this is a title Trump would probably embrace. He’s a political sadist who enjoys inflicting pain on anyone who disagrees with him. I guess that makes Stephen Miller the prince of pain.
NUMBER ONE: I’m about to bend my rule against songs I’ve used before. It imagines a wannabe dictator with the maturity and impulse control of a toddler. BINGO.
The lyrics keep it really real: “I wanna be the biggest boss that ever bossed the world around.”
In fact, it works as the Insult Comedian’s personal theme song. It really does.
Let’s close on a positive note and imagine the post-MAGA era: