Coronation News

From Holden:

The Swift Report is the place to go for all things related to George the Lesser’s Coronation.

The Swifties call our attention to this letter to Georgie on the Coalition for Family Values letterhead. The letter, signed by seven fundy leaders, calls for Chimpy to remember his “role as leader of your own family” and make his daughters stop dressing like whores:

As you know, dress and appearance are an important reflection of our Christian values. We are what we wear, as the saying goes, and according to this edict, your own daughters, bejeweled and bedecked in garments that plunge of neckline and cling of fabric, cannot be said to reflect the deeply-held believes of the tens of millions of values voters who sent you back to that highest office in the land.

For extra-snarky coverage of the letter, go visit TBogg (who else?).

Another item of interest ably covered by the Swift Report is Jenna and NotJenna’s dissapointment over the line-up at the Concert that Gave Lame a Bad Name

“B and J wanted this to be a really hot show and now they’re like what’s the point?” says a source close to the twins. “They could have had some of the dopest rappers out there. Now they’re stuck with a lame singer like Hilary Duff. They like don’t even want to go anymore,” says the friend.

It seems that the twins’ first choice of entertainment, Lil Jon, did not pass muster. Believe it or not, they had to get Lynne Cheney’s approval for each act. Lynne frowned on Lil Jon, chose Kid Rock instead, and the rest as they say is history.

Finally, we turn to the First Ladies’ Inaugural Tea. The First Ladies’ Inaugural Tea will feature special guest former Alabama Chief Justice Roy Moore, Ten Commandments-shaped cake, and Ten Commandments dinnerwear (not recommended for food use) – but no First Lady! It’s whispered that Judge Moore is not her favorite person.

Merrie Turner of Fairfax, VA, who is organizing the posh affair, says that she was told by the White House that Mrs. Bush would be stopping by for finger sandwiches and conversation. The First Lady’s spokesperson, however, insists that Laura Bush never even received an invite.

While it might seem to be just another case of “she said/she said,” observers insist that there is more—or Moore—to the First Lady’s decision to ‘ice’ this tea than just a case of bungled scheduling.

Between the Bush families’ obvious discomfort with the religious right, Karl Rove’s machinations, and the fundies’ belief that Georgie owes ’em big time, it’s going to be an interesting second term.