Your President Speaks!

From Holden:

Chimpy, today at the U.S. University Presidents Summit on International Education.

Christ, what an embarrassment.

He realizes he’s a dumbass, but he still has to one-up Condi.

I’ve had a little problem with the language in the past, so — (laughter.) If you’ve got room in the initiative for me, let me know. (Laughter.) Condi said, come on by, we’ve got a bunch of university presidents here. And I said, great, just so long as we don’t have to compare transcripts. (Laughter.) She’s the Ph.D., I’m the President. (Laughter and applause.)

The Admiral James Stockdale Memorial “Why Am I Here?” moment.

I appreciate all the Ambassadors who are here. I’m scanning the room. I see a few familiar faces, and thanks for serving. What the heck are you doing here? Like, you’re supposed to be — (laughter.) The deal was overseas. (Laughter.)

Never give them a breath mint!.

We’ve got to be unyielding and never give them a, you know, a breath of fresh air, never give them a hope that they can succeed.

Back to the Torture Fetish.

You can’t have an ideology that works if you say to half the population in a part of the world, you have no rights. You can’t say to a group of people, my ideology is better than freedom, and if you speak out you’re going to get — you’ll be tortured.

Bag-of-Hammers stupid.

You see, we got to convince people of the benefits of a free society. I believe everybody desires to be free. But I also know people need to be convincing — convinced — I told you I needed to go to language school.

“Living in freedom is not the American way of life.”, now with Bonus Stupidity!

But we need people in America who can go and say to people, living in freedom is not the American way of life, it is a universal way of life. We’re not saying your democracy has to be like yours.

Pity my native state.

When somebody comes to me and speaks Texan, I know they appreciate the Texas culture.

A kick in the Arabic region.

And when Americans learn to speak a language, learn to speak Arabic, those in the Arabic region will say, gosh, America is interested in us.

“Our bullying concept of freedom.”

But we’re also going to advance America’s interests around the world and defeat this notion about our — you know, our bullying concept of freedom by letting people see what we’re about.

Elvis has entered the building.

One of the stories I like to share with people is this. I — one of my best buddies in international politics is Prime Minister Koizumi of Japan. He’s an interesting person. Elvis was his favorite singer, for example.