Just To Piss The Wingnuts Off: Happy Kerry Photo


Transcript of remarks BEFORE the thing everybody’s so hopped up about, from the videohere:



How many of you remembered to set your clocks back? Democrtats set their clocks back one hour. Republicans want to set them back to 1958.

Yesterday I was in the state of Texas. As you all know President Bush used to live there. Now he lives in the state of denial, the state of deception. I’m glad to be here, I really am. I thank you for having me. I’d like to talk about education …


And then it goes into the whole deal everybody’s heard a thousand times.


Look, I went and found this (which to me doesn’t actually help much, but does make it a little clearer that he was mocking the Chimp) because a reader wrote in that it was hard to find. Reader was right, the NYT posted the full text of his “apology” but not the full text of the speech that occasioned the same. But I don’t want to get too wrapped up in the minutiae of this, because seriously. Google News is all full of headlines from around the country like “Kerry Slip Won’t Hurt Dems at the Polls” and stuff. And … it mostly makes my head hurt, because … why would it? I mean, last time I checked, Kerry’s presidential campaign was, you know, over.


Not that the Republicans are stupid to try. People voted against Kerry in 2004 because Michael Moore was fat and Ward Churchill was a douchebag. People vote against Democrats for their county board because Hillary Clinton freaks them out. People are shocked when I tell them I do not, in fact, worship a graven image of the Clintons at the local Meet-Ups, so long have they believed it’s all one big gay-marrying gun-confiscating intern-blowing mishmash of the same five guys at party HQ. (It’s all about envy, all that, because don’t we wish politics was half that much fun?) So the fact that the Republicans are trying to make Kerry the face of the Democratic Party the way Ted Kennedy was before Billy came along, well, it doesn’t shock me.

It does, however, gross me out. I mean, come on. Kerry’s my on-again, off-again political boyfriend, and I still think he’s sexy as hell, but even I don’t think about him as much as these wingnuts appeared to have done. I spent a lot of time after the 2004 election trying to parse exactly what it was about him that pissed them off so much, and I came to the conclusion that it was the fact that he pointed out, simply by existing within his own history, that there was more than one way to be patriotic, and thus undermined the story they were telling themselves, the story that made them good people. That’s a tough thing to swallow, and it’s the only thing I can think of that would account for why, two years after their guy beat Kerry in an election, they’restill so mad at him.


I also don’t think it’s working all that well. Mainly because let’s face it, my sexy political boyfriend is a wonk with a goofy smile. Nobody cares. Nobody cared in 2004, really, either. That election was about Bush and only marginally about Kerry at all. I knew a few Kerry-haters, but I know a lot more Clinton-haters, and if you asked them to rank the five Democrats they think are the Biggest Loooserz, Kerry’d rank below Dean and probably even Feingold. It’s hard to sustain that kind of contempt for very long. The hardcore, Freeperville wingnuts can manage it but the red stater on the street? Nah. He’s still got Billy to be pissed about, after all.

A.

9 thoughts on “Just To Piss The Wingnuts Off: Happy Kerry Photo

  1. i was looking through an old art museum book i got on the british museum and it had the funniest photo of an old african carving and my 1st thought was Kerry. wonks should be in congress. unless they have the talent to be clinton.
    he better not try again.

  2. I’m still trying to figure it all out, myself. They hate our guys because they’re, y’know, Dems. Liberal. Flip-floppers. Whatever. And we hate their guys because they’re, y’know, lying us into wars and savaging the Constitution and giving the country’s treasure to their friends and messing up the planet and making everybody hate us.
    I’m sure that’s fair and balanced, or something.

  3. I still adore the bejeebus out of the man. Always have — going back 20+ years.
    He’s not a great campaigner, true, but he would’ve made a fantastic president.

  4. they still hate Kerry because he came home from Vietnam,
    a genuine hero, and he threw his medals away in a protest.
    already, thirty years ago, he made them feel small and angry.
    and because they are small, they hate him.
    the swiftboating was only an echo.
    you should have seen the letters from the VFW guys back in the day.
    to some of those guys, he’s jane fonda.

  5. Charisma. Why do we want it in our candidates? Why do we want to “have a beer with them”?
    To validate ourselves.
    The whole “Identity politics” thing.
    I’m watching as Arnold is leading Phil Angelides in the polls. And some people are making the same deal with the Arnold/Phil deal as they did with the Bush/Gore thing. “Bush has charisma, Gore is a wonk” how much harm can he do? Besides he has Colin Powell/ Maria Shriver to rein him in.”
    Look how well that turned out.
    I’m frankly sick of the “who would you have a beer with” game of politics. Don’t kid yourselves folks, it ain’t ever going to happen.
    Like when I was bummed after I heard a rumor that Whitney Houston was gay. Then I though, “Who am I kidding, like I even had a chance in the first place!” But until that rumor I was still holding out the hope that I might end up being Whitney Houston’s boyfriend! How crazy is that?
    But people don’t’ want the reality, they want to believe. And that is why “believers” are an easy target for Bush and his games. They believe in stuff ‘on faith” and the transition to faith based voting for someone is simple with the right code words.
    But I’m not telling you folks anything that A. hasn’t said better and more often.
    By the way, I’ve had a beer with A. and believe me when I say “It was WONDERFUL!”

  6. No offense intended to anyone, but this Kerry kerfluffle is a perfect example of the echo chamber of blogistan at work.
    Nobody is talking about this anywhere else. Nobody cares. This is going to have zero impact. All it is, is something to argue about, pointlessly and endlessly. A “did he say it?” discussion on the level of “check the kerning!”
    This is a non-issue. This is a no-thing. There is no here, here. It’s a banging gong and a clanging cymbal, and there’s no symbolism involved. Indeed, it’s more telling that Hillary Clinton attacked what Kerry didn’t say as if she were their man on our side.
    The momentum is solidly behind the Democrats. But if we don’t get leadership from Democrats like Kerry, instead of Clinton, Biden, and Obama, it’s all for naught. Andthat’s the story now.

  7. It was the front page of the New York Post on Wednesday; you would have thought that he’d personally dropped incendiary bombs on our troops from the amount of hysteria the Post managed to generate. All right, it is the Post, and not to be taken seriously, but still, just because it’s not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things, that doesn’t mean they won’t take it seriously.

  8. A wrote:
    “It does, however, gross me out. I mean, come on. Kerry’s my on-again, off-again political boyfriend, and I still think he’s sexy as hell, but even I don’t think about him as much as these wingnuts appeared to have done. I spent a lot of time after the 2004 election trying to parse exactly what it was about him that pissed them off so much, and I came to the conclusion that it was the fact that he pointed out, simply by existing within his own history, that there was more than one way to be patriotic, and thus undermined the story they were telling themselves, the story that made them good people. That’s a tough thing to swallow, and it’s the only thing I can think of that would account for why, two years after their guy beat Kerry in an election, they’re still so mad at him.”
    Its not that I think Kerry is unpatriotic – I know he loves this country. He loves his country so he can appear patriotic and use it as a tool to run for office. His comments about the military have always been made from elitist point of view and his comments yesterday were a Freudian slip at best. He was a vapid, empty shirt of a presidential candidate in 2004 who ran on a platform devoid of ideas. That is why he lost. The fact that he is an elitist douche bag who dumps on those giving the last full measure for their country is why I am so pissed at him two years later.

  9. Waitaminute. . .who’s the REAL “elitist douche bag who dumps on those giving the last full measure for their country. . .”? Kerry never was the Commander-in-Chief of the military, and his party never was in power when the troops were sent to the wrong place, underequipped, overdeployed, given a futile task, provided faulty guidance, and shafted on their benefits if they returned home alive.
    You’ve been pissed off for two years at the wrong culprit, dude.

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