A Suggestion To The War on Christmas Crowd

Find another country.

You insecure, self-centered, anti-American schmucks.

You know, I’ve never understood the jollies some people get out of seeing their spiritual beliefs validated in the public square. Maybe it’s just having been raised Catholic in the German tradition, where the first rule of church was we don’t talk about church, where we worshipped and assumed if anybody wanted to know more about our God they could tell by how we behaved and if they asked, well, then was the time to talk. If the town had a nativity scene or not, that was never a big deal. Now, who got to decorate the one in the church, that was worth throwing a public hissy over.

Last year around this time, when the silliness of the hyper-Christianists was getting to me, I asked my little brother if he remembered our parents ever talking to him about people who didn’t share our faith. Because all I ever remembered from when I was little was vague statements about how some people were Christians and some people were Jewish (four of ’em, this being a small town in Wisconsin, but nonetheless) and well, they do things their own way and that’s the end of it.

My brother did me one better and recalled a lesson about how we were never to make fun of anyone else for what he or she believed, prompted I think by some television show or other. So I suppose the overriding directive was “don’t be an obnoxious jerk” and that applied to faith as well, by my point is, I was never raised to march around acting like everybody else’s God Stuff was some kind of threat to my own.

I do not get it. If you’re all that committed a Christian, wouldn’t you be one even if you were surrounded by others who weren’t? If you’re so sure, so certain (and I do envy people their certainty sometimes, in my agnostic soul) that you’re okay, what difference does it make to you that somebody else isn’t? I’m not talking about telling family members how awesome your relationship with God is, I’m talking about showing up at the city council meeting pestering strangers for a recognition of what you say you know to be universal and revealed truth. Why does that reassure you? What is it about driving past a nativity on the way to the mall that makes you feel like America loves and accepts you? I mean, if you need visual validation, couldn’t you just alter your shopping route to take you past your church?

(Which, by the way, this whole “America is a Christian nation” has been bullshit of the purest and clearest variety from the start, so not for nothing, but if we’re such a Christian nation why are people dying of the cold outside overnight on our streets? Just asking.)

And you know, just, once and for all, if you don’t like seeing things in the public square that you disapprove of, please, for the sakes of the most of us, go find a deserted island and found your own nation there. Surrounded by miles of water. Then burn your boat. Because people see things in the public square all the time that they hate. I’m personally not all that fond of seeing right-wing nutjobs there, nor flag-draped coffins, nor Joe Biden yammering on about how it’s just a matter of time till we win in Iraq. And you know what response you give me when I object to such? You say “America, love it or leave it.” So that’s what you get right back. You don’t like seeing a menorah, or a minaret, or a display of pagan Solstice rituals? You don’t like having to sit on Santa’s lap instead of the Baby Jesus’s at the mall? You don’t like it that every day, you run into stuff that’s not precisely how you would have arranged it in the universe?

America. Love it or leave it.


Update:In the name of all that his holy to everybody …

16 thoughts on “A Suggestion To The War on Christmas Crowd

  1. “don’t be an obnoxious jerk”
    A nice summation of one of the tenets of true Christianity. You know, the kind that’s about following Christ, not about what WalMart call’s their sales at Christmas or obsesses over other people’s sex lives.

  2. well, we were born ‘right’ the first time. didn’t need to be ‘bornagain’.
    um, brought up liberal lutheran. never heard evangelize. i ust admit tho i had a problem with them catholics going to saints instead of straight to god. dudes, he’s omnipotent, he can handle it.

  3. Yeah, but we like the chain of command. Run it by a few people first. 🙂

  4. I’m glad I grew up in a time and place when Christmas was magical and wonderful rather than a point of contention.

  5. My niece has become a Christian. To me that means Christianist, but she’s actually a Christian. I regret it, as our family was not superstitious, and she was raised by my mother, but her husband is a Lutheran and she has found a home there. My view: each to his own.
    — Knut Wicksell

  6. I agree with you, Athenae, but the “War on Christmas” is about anti-semitism?
    What is Gilliard smoking?

  7. If one wanted to read the Constitution and actually try to follow it:
    There wouldn’t be a federal holiday, when all government is shut down, in honor of the birth of Jesus.
    There wouldn’t be a federal holiday, when government workers are off duty, in honor of Good Friday.
    That we do have as federal holidays, both Christmas and Good Friday, should be very satisfying to Christians. That is a tribute to their persuasiveness in getting the government to ignore the US Constitution. Now, perhaps someone has an explanation about why they get so angry about our federal holiday?

  8. We have a federal holiday on December 25th, because it’s the birthday of Sir Isaac Newton. And because it’s the old traditional Saturnalia holiday. I intend to have a wild orgy featuring lots of these tasty little fig cookie things, but then I’m a real traditionalist, not one of these loudmouthed fakes from Faux News.
    That baby Jesus dude was born ON SOME OTHER DAY. Probably in the spring, if the historical research is to be believed.
    Any christianist that wants to prove otherwise is invited to post the birth certificate.

  9. “don’t be an obnoxious jerk” or other people will probably treat you like one – that’s sort of the sum total of all real spirituality…

  10. I am so fucking sick of the goddamn fundies.
    Seriously, it just makes me tired.
    Tired of the “christian nation” bullshit. Tired of the ginned-up outrage over the “war on christmas”. Tired of the war on teh ghey. Tired of the hypocrisy. Tired of the life begins at conception bullshit (saw an article yesterday about fucking Eric Rudolph wining about how awful life in prison is–too bad you murderous fuck). Tired of their proselytizing. Tired of their busy-bodyness, their intrusion into everybody’s private life, god I am so sick of it all.
    Stop Imposing Your Religious Beliefs on Me or Get the Fuck Out of My Country, you asshats.

  11. I undertook an intense, ten minute study of Xmas culture last night. When comparing Xmas songs, my research shows a 5:2 advantage for music that has nothing to do with Baby Jeebus, tending to favor Santa Claus and weather over fairy tales and dogma. My next research topic will be movies and TV shows. I expect similar results.
    Suck it, O’Reilly!

  12. A. You don’t live in a small town that has it’s main features being spires from the catholic churches in all its advertising. Oldenburg, Indiana yeppers. HUGE on the catholic and even bigger on the German. The nuns from the Fransican convent went so far as to tell the episcopalian PO mistress that THEY were her bread and butter. Everyone talks about church around here like everyone goes to it. That may have been true a few decades ago, but it isn’t not and they are not about to change.
    As an atheist or whatever, I have to listen to who said what at what mass or how so and so is doing this or that for this nun or priest. Sheesh it gets on your nerves. And when you tell them flat out you don’t believe in any god they freeze (think deer in headlights). And even if you have been in their homes, babysat their kids, helped them put up fencing… you are shunned. Sucks, but it is no different than when I was a kid in Chicago suburbs and we were not allowed to play with the non-catholics. It took moving away from that mid-western bullshit to realize that I would not go to hell if I played Barbie’ with a lutheran.

  13. “Maybe it’s just having been raised Catholic in the German tradition, where the first rule of church was we don’t talk about church, where we worshipped and assumed if anybody wanted to know more about our God they could tell by how we behaved and if they asked, well, then was the time to talk. If the town had a nativity scene or not, that was never a big deal. Now, who got to decorate the one in the church, that was worth throwing a public hissy over.”
    Used to be that it was the same in the C of E, and thank the Lord for it. Nowadays, I don’t know… but it’s not been nearly as much of an issue as in America, if it’s been one, I think.

  14. Could be that he’s taking particular umbrage at the ‘War on Christmas’ opponents implicitly declaring war on Hannukah or something? *shrug*

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