My Humble Suggestions for Changes to the Political Discourse


To start with, carry one of these at all times.

So. The pendejo-in-chief went to Israel and compared Barack Obama’s idea of negotiating with Iran (you know, a sovereign nation-state that has divergent interests from ours, which makes them eeeeeevil) to, and I’m not kidding, the appeasement of Hitler in the 1930’s.

That’s right.

Let’s look at what Bushactually read off of the TelePrompTer. First, he said this crazy shit:

My only regret is that one of Israel’s greatest
leaders is not here to share this moment. He is a warrior for the ages, a
man of peace, a friend. The prayers of the American people are with Ariel
Sharon. 

A four-year-old child would call bullshit on that. It’s kind of hard to be “a warrior for the ages” and “a man of peace” at the same time. Maybe, if you were a reluctant warrior, likeCincinnatus, or George Washington, that descriptionmight apply. But to Ariel Sharon? That’s just crazy talk. Oh, and my prayers aren’t with him. They’re not with anyone else, either; they’re all entreaties to the Lottery God for me to hit the Powerball.

But that’s just the warm-up for the full-on batshit insanity.

    The fight against terror and extremism is the defining challenge of
our time. It is more than a clash of arms. It is a clash of visions, a
great ideological struggle. On the one side are those who defend the
ideals of justice and dignity with the power of reason and truth. On the
other side are those who pursue a narrow vision of cruelty and control by
committing murder, inciting fear, and spreading lies.

    This struggle is waged with the technology of the 21st century, but
at its core it is an ancient battle between good and evil. The killers
claim the mantle of Islam, but they are not religious men. No one who
prays to the God of Abraham could strap a suicide vest to an innocent
child, or blow up guiltless guests at a Passover Seder, or fly planes into
office buildings filled with unsuspecting workers. In truth, the men who
carry out these savage acts serve no higher goal than their own desire for
power. They accept no God before themselves. And they reserve a special
hatred for the most ardent defenders of liberty, including Americans and
Israelis.

    And that is why the founding charter of Hamas calls for the
“elimination” of Israel. And that is why the followers of Hezbollah chant
“Death to Israel, Death to America!” That is why Osama bin Laden teaches
that “the killing of Jews and Americans is one of the biggest duties.” And
that is why the President of Iran dreams of returning the Middle East to
the Middle Ages and calls for Israel to be wiped off the map.

    There are good and decent people who cannot fathom the darkness in
these men and try to explain away their words. It’s natural, but it is
deadly wrong. As witnesses to evil in the past, we carry a solemn
responsibility to take these words seriously. Jews and Americans have seen
the consequences of disregarding the words of leaders who espouse hatred.
And that is a mistake the world must not repeat in the 21st century.

   Some seem to believe that we should negotiate with the terrorists
and radicals, as if some ingenious argument will persuade them they have
been wrong all along. We have heard this foolish delusion before. As Nazi
tanks crossed into Poland in 1939, an American senator declared: “Lord, if
I could only have talked to Hitler, all this might have been avoided.” We
have an obligation to call this what it is — the false comfort of
appeasement, which has been repeatedly discredited by history.
(Applause.)

How about that?

Okay. First of all, the text as presented here is not what Bush said. He said “genius” in the last quoted paragraph above, not “ingenious.” Check the audio if you don’t believe me. But that’s a minor thing. Check out that weak-ass “Some seem to believe” construction. Can this man say anything straight? If you have a problem with a single person’s argument, call that person out. Don’t pull this passive shit of “some think” or “some believe” or “there are those who say.” That bullshit doesn’t fly in high school essays. Shouldn’t we expect better from our President? Also, the Senator who Bush quoted?He was a Republican. From Idaho. You know, the “real” America. And, finally, WHAT THE FUCK? You’re going to the Knesset to compare an American Presidential candidate’s to strategy to the appeasement of Adolf Fucking Hitler? I’m kind of shocked they didn’t give him the bum’s rush right there. Way to a) demean the political process of your own country and b) beamazingly insulting to your hosts. There’s no fucking way al-Qaeda, or Hamas, or Iran pose a threat to anyone similar to the way Germany menaced its neighbors in the late 1930’s. Germany was one of the most powerful states in the world at that time. Iran is a weak, weak country. Hamas only has a pseudo-state. And al-Qaeda? They got nothin’ in terms of ability to destroy another state. The entities listed above certainly do not pose a genocidal threat to Israeli Jews, irrespective of public bluster to that effect. You just can’t compare the experience of European Jews in the 1930’s and 1940’s to Israeli Jews today. Last I checked, there was no IDF in Europe in the mid-20th century. Let’s recap: the State of Israel was founded, in large part, because of the desire of Jews to have a state (and a military) so that the events of the Holocaust could not be repeated. There’s no WAY some punk motherfucker living in a cave is gonna be able to have a genocidal impact on the modern Israeli state. 

And, as for negotiating, it’s what the Israelis (and the Americans) have to do with hostile countries. I mean, I don’t recall us invading and conquering the Soviet Union, do you? I seem to remember summits and treaties, even though there was definite hostility between East & West. And, as I’m sure you realize, those thousands and thousands of nuclear warheadsdid pose an existential threat to us back then. 

So Bush goes to a different country to, in his bullshit passive-agressive way, call out a member of a rival political party back home. So much for “politics ends at the water’s edge,” huh?

Now we get to the important part: My suggestions.

  1. Fight back. Amazingly, the Democrats actually are pushing back on this. In the past, my party has kind of meekly accepted bullshit like this, hoping that people would see it for what it is and, on their own, dismiss it as crap. Well, people do tend to dismiss the dumb-ass rhetoric (except for the fucking dittoheads, and there’s not much you can do about them). What they don’t dismiss is watching someone get punched in the face and then do nothing about it. When someone hits you in the nose, you don’t stand there waiting for an apology. You kick that motherfucker right in the nuts, then crush his nose with an uppercut while he’s doubled over in pain. And that’s the kind of shit that will win you the votes of people whothink the Republicans represent strength, but don’t see through their charade to just how fucking weak they are.
  2. When confronting bullshit, use language appropriate to the material you’re dealing with. Senator Clinton, even though I appreciate her statement, called Bush’s remarks “offensive and outrageous.” (Which, by the way, is the same phrase she used when talking about Rev. Jeremiah Wright.) C’mon, Senator. Don’t stop there. Say “offensive, outrageous, andfuckin stupid. Does the President really think we can’t tell the difference between some sorry motherfucker in a cave, or some douchebag wearing ill-fitting sports coats, and Adolf Fucking Hitler? Hey, George, here’s a news flash: We’re not as stupid as you, you fuck.” I mean, when your opponent goes Godwin on you, it’s time to hammer the shit out of him or her for being an idiot. Somehow, Joe Biden seems to understand a little bit of this point. Good on him. And that’s not something you’ll hear me say very often.

Now, there are some (heh heh) who will say that this crude language only cheapens our discourse. To them I say: Shut the fuck up and sit the fuck down. The word “fuck” doesn’t poison our discourse. But comparing your political opponents’ strategy to appeasing Hitler, especially when speaking in front of the Israeli parliament, does. And before you can say “MoveOn had an ad where they compared Bush to Hitler,” shut your fucking trap. First of all, that’s not what happened. Second, even if it had, MoveOn is not an elected fucking official of the United States of America. It’s certainly not the most prominent elected official in the entire fucking country. 

So, to George Bush, and his speechwriters, we say: Fuck you, you fuckin’ fucks.

9 thoughts on “My Humble Suggestions for Changes to the Political Discourse

  1. The tide is going out on the Junta, His Fraudulency, and this shoot-from-the-lip gang of thugs and looters.
    The duck gets lamer every day.

  2. No one who prays to the God of Abraham could strap a suicide vest to an innocent child, or blow up guiltless guests at a Passover Seder, or fly planes into office buildings filled with unsuspecting workers.
    And no one who prays to the God of Abraham could walk into the Tomb of the Patriarchs and start shooting either, eh, Adon Chimp?
    Ariel Sharon is a man of peace in the same sort of way as Bush is a man of peace, with the exception that when Sharon was younger, he actually wasin combat. I’ll give him that much, at least.
    I hope the Knesset, bless their collective pointed little heads, have the sense to be righteously offended by that, even if they don’t feel like they can show it. (I know all about it — politicians in US satellite states tend to have to be pretty careful about not pissing off the US president too much, and/or not espousing any positions the US doesn’t happen to like. You shouldsee the fur fly when the idea of legalising marijuana comes up — yet again — here.)

  3. Interrobang,
    Although you’d probably consider me a “churchy” type, and I realize you were being mildly sarcastic, let me chime in:
    Need I remind you of the Crusades? What about when the Israelites took Cannan and slaughtered all the good folks there?
    Of course, there is a huge difference between professed religion and practicing it.

  4. B-b-b-b-b-ut, didn’t Yitzhak Rabin talk to a terrerererist?
    That Rabin, he was a real pussy, kissin Arab asses and all!
    And Jude, while that passive-aggressive bullshit might not fly in High School, it sure as hell works in the pages of the Washington Post and the New York Times and all those other corporate regalithic newspapers that report on the attempts by the whiny ass Democrats to stop the mean Daddy gopper thugs from destroying our country. Or something like hat!

  5. Oh NO!!!! The GOP’s own ordained intellectually constipated and morally vacant Holy Father Ronald Reagan’s own legacy of negotiating with Iranian hostage takers to keep terrify them months and months after their freedom was already negotiated by the US until his White House swearing in event has lost it’s spit shined polish? What NEXT?????
    The entire Bush family, Rumsfeld’s and Cheney’s, et al legacies of doing business with the globe’s vilest dictators and despots still retain their shine for their history books or did our national shame President have yet another “epiphany” in front of the Knesset’s rapt audience?
    Surely the very tenets of democracy functioning with multiple voices and parties continually demonized by our nation’s President and his party is truly motivation for all that peace and love exhibited in nations we kill in to spread, right?

  6. Obama did not play this right. He should have shrugged off the statement by saying the President has a long history of quoting people who only exist in his mind. Next question?

  7. Wow, I can’t believe I came across this fucktard drivel via Google…
    The fucking dickass Iranian President can openly call for genocide this fucking moron writing here can’t seem to grasp a comparison with Hitler…? ROFLMAO…
    No threat? They already leveled the Twin Towers dipshit. Germany never came close to pulling off shit like that. The Japs did.
    Negotiate? Don’t make me laugh. It was called the COLD FUCKING WAR. Get a clue.
    Please fucking tell me your dumb fucktard commie ass doesn’t vote!
    Nevermind I gave up on wishful thinking long ago.

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