What Not So Fresh Hell Is This?

Okay, as a Roman Catholic educated by nuns and Jesuits, I admit to being somewhat of a snob when it comes to my religious leaders. I like them to know stuff. I expect people who’ve spent their lives involved with religion on a regular basis to know their own traditions well and have at least a passing familiarity with those of others. To know, for example, that“Hindu” is not a god:

I would also pray Lord that your reputation is involved in all that happens between now and November, because there are millions of people around this world praying to their God — whether it’s Hindu, Buddha, Allah — that his [McCain’s] opponent wins for a variety of reasons.

And Lord I pray that you would guard your own reputation, because they’re going to think that their god is bigger than you, if that happens. So I pray that you would step forward and honor your own name in all that happens between now and Election Day.

Oh Lord, we just commit this time to you, move among us, make your presence very well felt as we are gathered here today in Jesus’s name I pray.

Being charitable, I’m sure this “pastor” was just throwing a bunch of shit at the cross and seeing where it would stick and where it would catch on fire, but for the love of the God who he claims to serve, pick up a book on world religions and look this stuff up before you open your trap.

This is of course ignoring the STAGGERING offensiveness of assuming God or gods give a flying fuck who wins the election to the presidency of the United States. Republicans’ narcissism makes me so exhausted, you guys. I can’t imagine how God feels about it. He has stuff to do. He needs to clean His fridge out and sort His junk mail and keep His eye on sparrows and stuff. And here’s the wingnuts, clinging to His cosmic pantleg and whining every time He talks to someone who isn’t them. Demanding that He validate their screaming need for approval every single second of His precious day. Making Him stop what He is doing and deal with their crises. No wonder every once in a while He hauls off and smites a bitch.

A.

20 thoughts on “What Not So Fresh Hell Is This?

  1. Because I am capable of remembering an old Kids in the Hall sketch for almost any occasion, this reminds me of the one with the fundy preacher asking “Which one weighs more? The Bible or the Bhagavad-Gita?”

  2. He left out the flying spaghetti monster, and “arab” religions.
    I’d actually like to believe in a Supreme Being, but when a man can say something like this and not get struck down by lightning, Occam’s razor says “existence unlikely”.

  3. That’s where I am yet again glad to be a Witch, I can hand off things bigger than me to the Goddesses/Gods, but in general, I work WITH my deities – not use them as my spiritual concierge service. I know I have a responsibility to do my part. Oh…and I don’t whine to them, either.
    And yeah, gonna work some magick for Obama to get the voting support he needs to be our President, so SUCK it Pastor Pullinmahpud!
    Elspeth

  4. Maybe the IRS will now pay a visit to the Grace Evangelical Free Church and ask about that tax exempt status?
    Oh yeah, not under the currently Jeebus-led Administration. Only the Universalists have to worry ’bout that law!
    In the meantime, enjoy the sign!!
    SP

  5. Having spent many a day in Catholic school, I must say this is more than kind of disturbing. My school didn’t do the “indoctrinate, indoctrinate, only our God is really great” rallying stuff. I remember having options as to which religion classes I could take. On top of the standard courses, I took a religions of the world course and a class on religion in the 20th century. Both courses were taught by people who clearly respected the views of others and that helped me a great deal as I learned to value others and their beliefs.
    I think if more people approached religion that way (here’s what we believe, believe it if you want to, here’s what others believe, believe it if you want to) we’d have a better view of religion in this country and more agreement among those who don’t share our views.
    And then there’s this…
    http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/10/081010-shark-virgin-birth-2.html

  6. And yet the very Hindu businesspeople in my extended family will vote McCain. As will some Arab-American business owners in this country. The politics of self-denial and “we will get ahead no matter what they say about us; they need us” is fascinating and vomit-inducing at once.

  7. I think if more people approached religion that way (here’s what we believe, believe it if you want to, here’s what others believe, believe it if you want to) we’d have a better view of religion in this country and more agreement among those who don’t share our views.
    That’s exactly how I was raised, as a Unitarian (starting with my first Sunday school class in 1953; we didn’t all become Unitarian-Universalists until 1961). And you know what? I grew up to be a progressive liberal! I grew up knowing how to think critically, question authority, make decisions on evidence and behave as though I loved all my neighbors. No wonder the fundies think people like me are Satanists.
    As for the virgin shark, let us recall a favorite slogan from 1976 or thereabouts; “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.” No boyfriend? No problem!
    Peace, V.

  8. So if McCain loses, does this mean that God has been disgraced and can’t stand up for himself? You’re the allmighty Lord of the Universe, and you can’t even swing an election?

  9. Of course you know Buddha and Allah are not a Gods either. As the Pope said, Buddha was just a man, Allah was just a prophet, while Jesus is all cool and stuff ’cause he’s a bonafide son of a god.

  10. wow, that’s the most passive agressive prayer ever. “Show that you love me, sole master and judge of the universe, by overcoming those other gods, who I’m not even supposed to believe exist?” This is really pretty incoherent by most christian lights. Those other gods–pace “hindu”–aren’t even supposed to *exist.* Can someone explain to me why Jehovah is supposed to be struggling to show his people how powerful he is over and against those other little gods? I thought the whole point was that there *were* no other gods. This guy is some kind of manichean imposter, not an actual christian minister.
    Where’s a little christian humility and resignation when you need it?
    aimai

  11. …ok, so I get the not-so-subtle reference that McCain needs to win so ‘those other people’ don’t too uppity about their religions, but I do wonder how the good Reverend is going to address an Obama win when Nov. 5 dawns. After all, Romans 13:1 says the governing authorities that exist have been established by God, which would mean that God established an Obama administration even though it answered all those millions of other prayers…

  12. NOT. MY. CO_RELIGIONIST.
    This guy is an embarassment.
    *goes to pray for forgiveness for wanting to kick him in the nads*

  13. Thanks for the correction Ali. I got too exciited trying to debunk the whole premise.

  14. A, He most certainly cares more about the sparrow than about John Effing McCain.
    But I particularly appreciate Jack K’s take–what ARE the fundies going to do when Obama is elected? I mean, if they’ve all been praying their little hearts out for McCain and all?
    That’s the danger of calling on God to get you across the finish line. What if God doesn’t like you all that much?

  15. Damn, I’m surprised he didn’t just throw in protection from witchery for good measure. And, as someone else pointed out, the sheer ignorance of assigning godhead to Buddha and Allah is just staggering. Do all these guys get their Rev docs from ads in the back of magazines?

  16. Just to avoid the “sheer ignorance”, Allah is god. It literally means “the one god.” The god of Abraham. However muslims choose to worship Him, He is the same god as the Christian and Jewish god. Mohammed is the prophet, not Allah.

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