For The Love Of Steve

YOUR GROCERY CART MAY KILL YOU! I saw a promo for this the other night and nearly fell off the couch. The original story, which isn’t online, was about how germy and creepy grocery carts are after people have hacked and snotted and pawed all over them, which … well, yes. And doorknobs are gross, too. Sidewalks, I wouldn’t lick those if I were you, not since Christmas shopping season has started. Hotels aren’t always sanitary. Sometimes there’s residue on the bottoms of your boots after you get done hiking 18 miles through the mountains. I don’t know what we’d do without the local news to help us out with this stuff.

Here’s a pretty good list of sweeps stories from years past in Chicago. I remember when I moved down here thinking local news would be of a slightly higher caliber than it was up in Wisconsin, because this was a large city, after all, and … yeah, then I saw Janet Davies interviewing, like, John Cusack or something.God bless the ratings season.

Now if you’ll all excuse me I have to get back to killing journalism.

A.

10 thoughts on “For The Love Of Steve

  1. I am sorry, I saw “John Cusack” and forgot about the germ thingummies… Which reminds me, I bought “War Inc.” so I am going to go watch it…
    I lurves me some John, but then, y’all know that.
    Elspeth

  2. Ah, yes, Chicago news: Today, a plane crashed in Siberia. One of the passengers once had a layover at O’Hare.
    Sorry to see it hasn’t changed in 20 years.

  3. Was at the local Starbucks and saw a young mother trying to corral her precocious four year old. Every time the toddler grabbed hold of something, touched a table, or sat on the floor; she would be right there with a Wet Ones, cleaning his hands and face. The kid got wiped down about a dozen times while they were in the store. All the mother said, other than her order, was “don’t touch that, it’s got germs” over and over again.
    Talk about a boy in a bubble. Keeping them clean is one thing. Obsessing over it is just wrong. This is a kid who will end up being a drug store’s best customer.
    Germs are a part of growing up.

  4. David, that kid’s immune system is gonna be about as strong as the spine in Harry Reid.
    About 2 years ago, the local grocery stores here started having antibacterial wipes out so you could wipe down your cart. I thought it was a nice offer – never taken them up on it, though.

  5. For quite a while, now, our local supermarket has had a sanitary wipe dispenser near the grocery carts. Only recently did I start to use the wipes to clean the cart handle before I shop. But I don’t know how effective these really are against whatever it is someone might have left behind, germwise. What actually got me using those things was perfumy crap that frequently was on the handles. It followed me home, got on my vegetables, etc. Same thing happens when I shake some people’s hands (probably some of the same ones who use those grocery carts). Why are people’s hands covered with oily, smelly, shit, anyway? I thought you put that stuff on your neck, or some such place. I have pretty good germ resistance, but I can’t shake fragrances I haven’t chosen for myself.

  6. The only time I’ve ever used the hand sanitizer wipes, etc. outside the local grocery store was this past summer, when I had some sort of bacterial infection in my lungs (not strep, but something similar).
    I had been on anti-biotics for more than a week, but was still sick, with pretty bad laryngitis. I didn’t want to go into a grocery store like that, but I was plain out of food.
    So I wiped my hands down best I could before going in, touched as few things as possible while inside, whispered to the check-out girl to go wash her hands when she was done with me, and wiped the cart handle as I left.
    I was actually pretty glad they had the wipes outside that time. Normally, I don’t use them.
    (And no, that’s not where I got sick in the first place. About four or five days before I got sick, I went to see a neighbor’s son play in his high school playoffs baseball game. Next to the baseball diamond was the football field, which they had fertilized the previous weekend. During the game, the sprinklers went on at the football field, creating a nice aerosol effect for the afternoon breeze to blow right over the baseball crowd. No doubt, I inhaled something ‘good’ from the fertilizer. Never been that sick, never been sick that long! That couple weeks, “our” grocery cart really couldda killed ya!)

  7. Liberal bias, my ass. Today’s media has ascaremongering bias. (Let’s leave aside which end of the political spectrum has been better able to take advantage of that lately.)
    You cannot kill ‘journalism’ soon enough.

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