YOUR GROCERY CART MAY KILL YOU! I saw a promo for this the other night and nearly fell off the couch. The original story, which isn’t online, was about how germy and creepy grocery carts are after people have hacked and snotted and pawed all over them, which … well, yes. And doorknobs are gross, too. Sidewalks, I wouldn’t lick those if I were you, not since Christmas shopping season has started. Hotels aren’t always sanitary. Sometimes there’s residue on the bottoms of your boots after you get done hiking 18 miles through the mountains. I don’t know what we’d do without the local news to help us out with this stuff.
Here’s a pretty good list of sweeps stories from years past in Chicago. I remember when I moved down here thinking local news would be of a slightly higher caliber than it was up in Wisconsin, because this was a large city, after all, and … yeah, then I saw Janet Davies interviewing, like, John Cusack or something.God bless the ratings season.
Now if you’ll all excuse me I have to get back to killing journalism.