The Legacy Thing

Cheetos copy

I know thatpretzels are more Shrub’s speed, but hear me out when I make the case for the Cheeto as the apt metaphor for this administration.

You start with that most native of cereals, corn…and then you process it, puff it full of air and god knows what else, extrude it through what must be some sort of Frankenstein monster of a machine, and top it off with a West Texas sized dusting of powdered cheese food product.

Calories don’t get any emptier than that.

As this administration stumbles to an end that’s so James Buchananesque in the mess that it leaves for its successor, it’s opted for the very Rovian (and I hear Rove is playing his part) tactic of spin, spin, spin (or spin, baby, spin, if you prefer.)A series of exit-interviews are underway, a final attempt from Team Bush to convince the public that eight years of pure bullshit is actually tasty Shinola–mmmm–a floor wax AND a dessert topping. No, really!

Except…there’s just no way of hiding the innate shallowness of the little man. As I’ve said before, a perfect storm of New England blue blood arrogance and ugly Redneck aggressive ignorance. The kind of person, who, charged with making critical decisions during an severe economic crisis, focuses like a laser on…Ben Bernanke’s tan socks.

Years ago, Shrub was tagged theTexas Souffle, another case of empty calories and mostly puffed air–but to me that implies, if not actual sweetness, a lightness that’s incompatible with a legacy of torture, the stovepiping of intelligence to suit bloody, ugly aims, the subversion of the constitution, and acasual cruelty mixed with sheer incompetence when it came to actually governing. No, souffle is both too forgiving…and perhaps even too substantial.

I nominate the Cheeto. Salty, empty, dusty. The very essence of junk food, for the very essence of a junk presidency.

11 thoughts on “The Legacy Thing

  1. I don’t remember this, but does anyone remember another president who before they were even out of office, went around talking about their legacy?
    Yet Shrub seems to have started on day 1.

  2. I remember a lot of media speculation about Clinton’s supposed obsession with his legacy, but I don’t recall Clinton talking about it himself.

  3. Hmmm, as far as Shrub and his *gag* “legacy” are concerned – doesn’t the phrase polishing a turd come to mind??? (and even if they can pull a Jaime from Mythbusters, it’s STILL a turd!!!)

  4. Hey, I like Cheetoz. I nominate tripe for the Bush legacy. Has to be boiled for hours to be edible, and even then sucks.

  5. I dunno, Mike–there’s something about the pretzel’s shape that seems to correlate with Shrubya’s twisted psyche. As well as the twisted perception that he has of himself. Also, and alas, the pretzel represents “failure”, just like Shrubya, because the twit survived the salty, doughy, tasty evil-doer’s suicidal assassination attempt.

  6. Yeah, but pretzels, on a very sliding scale of junk foods, are supposedly a little less harmful, or at least I hear…plus, they say the twisted shape is representative of arms folded in prayer. I read or saw somewhere that children were rewarded with a pretzel for saying their prayers.
    In the spirit of comprimise, I’m willing to forego brand names–how about the good old generic cheese puff (Cheez-Puff)? Baked, fried–it makes no difference. Or, better yet, some low budget brand like Tom’s…from the vending machine–insert your coins, press the button and watch its little suicide dive off the shelf.

  7. Michael,
    I think Bush is more like pork rinds. Yeah, they too are puffy and salty. But absolutely bad for you in oh so many ways. And since now W is leaving the people’s house, he can retire back to the pig farm cum Western White House “ranch.”
    Oh yeah. Iforgot. No more pig ranching for W. So I guess maybe no more pork rinds either!

  8. they may have scrubbed the paper/e-mail trail, but we have vide of georgee’s craptude. plus the results. this is one turd they can’t polish. NO ONE but deep bushies will look back fondly at the oughts.

  9. I second the pork rinds suggestion, on the condition that they’re vegemite flavored.

  10. No, sorry, there’s no food that isn’t better than bush. Nope, it’s a colostomy bag contents. And trust me, I’m familiar with the bag and I’m not so sure if the waste material from a dysfunctional body altered by human genius isn’t still a better thing than bush.

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