Nailing Journalism To The Perch

Jesus Christ, Peggy Noonan.

Conservative journalists and liberal journalists hiding their true convictions in slanted language and biased decisions do not do a fraction of the damage done by smug, lazy, solipsistic journalists who assume nothing on earth is happening unless it’s happening to them. There’s an economic crater because Peggy’s nearby Talbot’s closed? REALLY?

Who greenlights this bullshit? Wait, I know. Starfucking editors afraid to call somebody on her absolute obliviousness. As one of the Wonkette commenters puts it:

A classic example of how to write an opinion column:

1. Pick up on something that happened recently.
2. Claim to see more meaning in it than everyone else.
3. Announce that it is ‘symptomatic of a more general malaise’ or some such.
4. Proceed to wild, generalized statements, too vague to be disproved.
5. Wring hands.

Example:
“Something is the matter, and the most appropriate symbol of this is
Joaquin Phoenix. He has retreated into a beard, just as America hides
its face and mumbles – half-ironic, half-fearful. This country, once so
wonderful and confident and talented, now chews the gum of glib
indifference.Trust in ourselves
is our Letterman, and like Letterman, we are baffled, yet we disguise
our unease and play along. I weep for a nation only I truly
understand.” Etc etc.

Seriously. But they have standards we here on the humble Internets just cannot understand.

A.

6 thoughts on “Nailing Journalism To The Perch

  1. Don’t miss Virginia Postrel’s article in the Atlantic on how lucky she was to not have her cancer treated in New Zealand.
    New Zealand, life expectancy 80.24 years, vs US, 78.14 years.
    New Zealand, male years of ill health, 6.9 years, vs US, 8 years.
    New Zealand, female years of ill health, 9.4 years, vs US, 10.7years.
    New Zealand, infant mortality 5.67/1000, vs US, 6.37/1000.
    New Zealand, 8.4% of GDP health spending, vs US, 15.4% of GDP.
    New Zealand, $1163 per capita, vs US, $4271 per capita.
    So, let’s see, 300 million people, times $3000 per capita, gives $900 billion dollars we could save with New Zealand’s health care system.
    And, on average, we’d live TWO years long, plus we’d have an extra year of not sick, and 2800 fewer infants would die each year.
    But what good are boring numbers, compared to a well-written anecdote?

  2. this is the first thing that popped into my head
    CJ
    At first I thought it was western materialism, and then the mantra
    stopped working, and … are you getting this down? [She moves to sit in
    a chair in front of him]
    GORDON flips a page in his notebook and uncaps his pen.
    CJ [cont]
    Anyway, I already got the crib. I painted one room pink and another one
    blue, because I wanted to live with both, they’re such different
    sensibilities.
    GORDON
    About these new adoption laws…
    CJ
    That’s the thing, I don’t want to adopt. I’m looking for a donor.
    GORDON
    A donor?
    CJ [giving him a long look, then quietly]
    Close the door.
    GORDON [he looks at the door]
    Oooooh… wait…you’re not…
    CJ
    Are you out of your pencil-ridden brain?!? This is the United States
    Government. We’ve got a two-trillion dollar budget. We’re the largest
    creditor, the largest sub-contractor, lifeblood of the global economy,
    with a nuclear arsenal that could blow this planet into 15 billion
    pieces. I shouldn’t have to tie you to a chair and shove a spoon into
    your mouth to get you to write about it!

  3. It gets worse. She compares Sully, the pilot who made the great landing in the Hudson, to Suley (her nickmane for the octuplet’s mother) and how it means America is lost. Sully represents the old America, the tried and true, heroic country of her youth. Suley is needy and selfish and represents this ugly, modern America.
    How does anyone compare an experienced, highly trained professional to someone who likely has mental health issues? And why bother?
    It kills me that she gets paid to write that shit.

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