So I was listening to an interview from last week on a show called
Spark — CBC Radio’s internet-culture and new technology program.
they had this man named Tom Armitage on it talking about how the next
generation of world leaders will all have been raised on video games,
and speculating on what video games might have taught these future
leaders. The tone was very optimistic.
As a life-long gamer
myself, I thought I’d compile a list of things future prime ministers
and presidents and chancellors might have learnt from video games that
might be applicable to the world situation. To wit:
* The only defence necessary is a three-foot wall around your country. No one can jump over that.
* Ammunition is a useless expense. Even if your guns aren’t the kind
with infinite bullets, clips and rounds can be found scattered about
* The best training for new soldiers is massacring rabbits.
* All outposts and research centres must be designed as a series of
barely-jumpable platforms interspersed with occasional treasure chests,
and sometimes chicken legs concealed in the bricks of the walls.
Wars aren’t won by armies, only by small ragtag troupes of two to eight
members who each have their own distinctive skill set, uniforms, and
* It’s not necessary to
set residency spaces or hire doctors. By the mere act of picking up a
medical kit, anyone can instantly heal the most grievous bullet wounds.
* Death is a minor inconvenience.
* All hospitals will eventually become battlefields, or haunted by
zombie nurses wielding lead pipes. In other words, don’t build any.